The Sound of Fear
by Gokayu
Summary: My take on Sasuke's time in Sound. Now completed with a sequel inprogress. Implied SasuNaru, NaruSasu.
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer & Warnings: **Naruto is not mine. Sasuke, sadly enough, isn't mine either. Their brilliant author takes all credit for creating them and the rest of the world they evolve in._

_There are presently five chapters written of this fic and I am nowhere near finished with it. Most of this fic is a flashback, a take on Sasuke's time in Sound village. There may be some OOCness, and I'm very aware that it is sometimes too fast-paced. I am hoping both of thosewill even out as I go. For now, please just enjoy._

**The Sound of Fear: Prologue**

I'll never give up on you, you know? You betrayed me, Konoha and everyone in it. You did horrible things. Stuff people only see in nightmares... I've seen some of those battle grounds myself, the whimpering, felled warriors. Not dead, some not even wounded, but somehow fundamentally destroyed. It's worse. You don't kill half as much as I expected you to at first. You'd rather scare them, leaving a permanent scar in their minds that you can use in the future, when they think they've recovered from you.

You blinded Neji. I don't know how you did it. There's no trace of injury near his eyes yet he can't see a thing. That was glaringly obvious the first time he walked into a knee-high table. Everyone's tried to help him along but there's only so much you can do for a blind Hyuuga.

I've seen Hinata train with him countless times, so careful around him that he couldn't control his words, his pride and his pain. He said some pretty bad things to her, but she was still there the next day. I've seen Sakura try to heal him so many times she drove herself to exhaustion, her hands burned with chakra, trying to undo your evils.

I've been researching every single record of jutsus known to cause blindness, revising all I know about that Mangekyou and the Sharingan itself with Kakashi. I don't know how you did it, and whether it's fixable. There's nothing I can do to help him. And it's your fault.

He's sworn to kill you, but we all know he won't. He never will.

A few days ago, Shikamaru told me that you'd come to him at night. That you'd been visiting him almost every week for months now. He didn't give me a reason as to why he withheld the information for so long. He just told me, no hint of regret about anything. I guess that's Shikamaru for you, really. He's smart enough to choose the paths without regret.

At least that's what he tells himself. I went numb when he told me he was seeing you. I should've yelled and screamed and punched, that's Naruto after all, isn't it? But I just stared at him. Unable to get past it.

Shikamaru is safe for you. It's so much _you_ to go to him. He's the only one who can't gather the energy to feel for you, be that hate or love. Maybe... Maybe it was you trying to hurt me too.

Shika didn't say why he chose that moment to tell me about your visits either. I think if he waited so long to tell me, it means that somehow, in some way, he cares enough to want to protect you. I don't know how you managed to get even that much feeling from him.

He defends you, once in a while. Not always and certainly not when Neji's there but sometimes... he makes you think he's not _quite_ as objective as he should be. He's smarter than to fall for you though. He's always been much smarter than me anyway.

There's the other people to consider as well. Sakura hasn't given up on you and isn't about to. In her case though, I'm still not sure what it is. She doesn't know you, how can she love you? But she sure as hell likes to think she does. She's so in love with the idea of you that it's sickening. To find so much... _infatuation_ in an adult, sexy and smart woman is entirely too irritating. She's prepared to be all you need and the more trials you put her through the better. It makes her feel strong, stronger than everyone to be able to withstand anything for your sake. She can always say, I've suffered for love, I deserve it. I wonder how much of it is self-inflicted, really.

But she'll always think you need her. That you just don't acknowledge that yet. She'll always think that she's your path out of the darkness and into light.

Maybe I'm just as bad as she is after all.

The rest of the populace seem to just generally fear you. You've never done anything to harm Konoha, directly or indirectly. I'm a little curious about that, actually. Are you still tied to this village, emotionally? Is it a conscious choice to not fight those who know you? I suppose it matters little. The only significant consequence is that I'm not bound by duty to hunt you down.

The villagers though, they hear the rumors, the whispers. They're scared to death of you, the last Uchiha, the Sharingan unveiled, the nightmare in your eyes. But even when they lower their voices to say your name, there's respect, that admission that you're better than they are. Some awed tone to their fear. Sometimes that respect borders on pride. You're still the golden boy of Konoha, the genius child, impossibly strong, born and bred in their own little town.

Everyone knows The Uchiha is from Konoha.

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter 1

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 1**

When Sasuke first gets to Sound, he's disappointed with the cuddling, the falseness of the display he's greeted with. Every person he meets lowers their gaze in mock deference and it only serves to deepen the frown on Sasuke's forehead.

He's been known as a self-important bastard in the past, the respect of others always instinctively granted to him. He's reputed to be sure of himself to the point of arrogance. Arrogance has nothing to do with this greeting. Sasuke is very conscious of the fact that he was brought here for his potential, not his present worth. He _knows_ he'd lose against most of these fuckers. He swears under his breath that it won't stay that way for long. But for now, the false respect makes his tired walk straighter, his black eyes mirroring red with the urge to unveil his Sharingan. He's going to have work to do around here. But at least, judging from the almost tangible hostility beneath the bowing, Sasuke knows he won't be cuddled.

He's not surprised to find some of the eyes on him are looking with more than need to hurt or fear. It's that something more in most of the eyes that makes Sasuke's chin lift up a little more, his smirk a little wider, his walk more gracious despite the bone-deep weariness. Envy. Envy and lust. Konoha and Sound aren't really quite so different.

Sound is built underground, the buildings made of rock and echo. Sasuke thinks he understands why this is the sound village after all. The acoustics of this huge grotto are unique. He notices that he can almost hear people's feelings here. Hushed voices that aren't really there, but always speak the truth.

As he walks deeper in the city, his keen disappointment shifts into anticipation. This is a test. Sasuke rubs his forehead where the weight of the headband is _missing_ and smirks. He _likes _this, the hostile false respect, the people, the dirt and the need in everyone. If he gets to the center of the town unchallenged, he'll be severely disappointed.

It seems that just to prove him right, a derisive snort interrupts Sasuke's musing and he turns to face the source.

"So that's Orochimaru's future." The man who speaks the words is the only other person on the street and it strikes Sasuke as odd for the second it takes to he realises that the man in front of him planned it so. If others obeyed him, he probably isn't to take lightly. Therefore, instead of answering, Sasuke sizes him up, intelligent eyes scanning up and down the other man.

The hair is brown and cropped short, the features handsome but not striking. He's a _big_ man, taller than Kakashi by a head at least. His eyes are striking green and sharp, but overall there's nothing to give away why this man should have the influence to empty a street on a whim. It's precisely that which makes Sasuke pause, cocking his head and wondering what he can't see.

Sasuke doesn't blink, just keeps watching him silently, the tension growing steadily. Sasuke doesn't blink and looks closely for weaknesses. Sasuke doesn't blink, because if he does, the man will kill him.

When the man takes his first steps towards him, Sasuke doesn't back away. He's fairly sure this is going to decide his standing in Sound village, so despite knowing how much strength this man radiates, he stays where he is and glares.

They're inches from each other before the man stops. Their eyes are locked and though Sasuke has to tilt his head up, craning his neck almost uncomfortably, he knows he hasn't lost an inch of ground. Sasuke knows how to look at others from above, even if he's bellow. He's going to force this man to his level.

"What's your name, boy?"

One corner of Sasuke's mouth curls up and he raises a brow. Not backing down, he supplies the answer, voice calm and sure, "Uchiha Sasuke." He lets the man nod at that, lets him think he deserved that response from Sasuke before he adds, smooth and clean, "Try to remember it this time around." That's subtle enough to go over the head of a brainless muscle-fighter and enough of a light insult to be dismissed by someone wanting to be the 'bigger man'. The man in front of him though, isn't either of those types.

There's an almost comical _freeze_ to the man's nod and Sasuke's smirk grows a hint. Oh yeah. He loves this place already.

"Fucking brat."

Before he knows it, Sasuke is pushed against the nearest wall, breath knocked out of him by the strength of the body slamming into him. _Shit. Fast._

He shifts his head to avoid a blow and takes a sharp breath when he sees that the punch intended for his face went through the wall he's pinned to. _Strong too._

And he can't win on either of those fronts right now, so Sasuke fights dirty. He lashes out and kicks the man's groin, sending him into gasping agony. Freeing his arms, Sasuke grabs the man's hair, keeping a good hold on it as he pulls the head up to meet agony-fury filled eyes. He only has a second to establish dominance in a clear victory. Only a short second before the man reacts. Sasuke can't kill this man in a second in his present position, he knows that.

Fortunately, there's no hesitation. Sasuke brings the man's head forward and kisses him, deep, hard and domineering. He bites the lips trying to fight back and pushes the man off him with almost no effort involved.

"And I am not to be trifled with, dog."

The man flinches and lowers his head, almost unconsciously showing submission.

There's nothing stopping the man from attacking him and winning now. And Sasuke's almost shaking with the implications of what he's just done. Provoking mass murderers is _never_ a smart move, especially with sex. But none of it shows, none of the fear, anger, anticipation. Outwardly, there's only Sasuke and his emotionless eyes staring at a dog.

The man is struggling with his breath and Sasuke can't tell if it's from pain. That bothers him more than he likes. Swallowing silently, Sasuke walks away from the man, who is still unmoving. He knows better than to turn his back to him though.

He wonders as he reintegrates the more populated streets how he knew a kiss would earn him victory back there. Sasuke's not quite sure what affected the man so much that he was willing to submit so easily, but he simply takes a note to think on it later. The man submitted once, and for now it's enough.

Sasuke wonders how Naruto would react to him using that tactic. Before the urge to smile at the thought hits him, Sasuke blocks out that memory. Thinking of Naruto is _forbidden_. And so he won't. He won't smile for him.

The memory of the man's reaction at being called a dog has Sasuke pausing in his walk. He remembers a second later that he has other people to impress if he's meant to live here for a while and he straightens up, resumes walking.

His thoughts turn to the master of this place next. Orochimaru. The snake Sennin. The man who promises to make him strong enough to beat Itachi. There's power there, of course.

Sasuke allows himself a moment to mourn over Konoha and everything he left back there. He came to get away from Konoha more than to come _here_. Every moment more in Konoha, with _him_ and Kakashi and Sakura made him want to stay, forget about the Clan, forget about Itachi. And that would destroy all that Sasuke is. Not until his task is accomplished will he be allowed to forget. That is his punishment for surviving.

Orochimaru is strong, but looking around himself to all the people here... all the lost souls, Sasuke realises that it's not a matter of strength. He's fairly sure that certain combinations of strengths in this village could kill the Sannin. The point though, is that they won't.

Exploiting weaknesses is what Orochimary does best. Emotional, physical, hell, spiritual weaknesses. Everyone has them. Sasuke ponders that even as he steps onto the grounds of where he knows he'll find the snake. Orochimaru has those weaknesses. Itachi doesn't.

For a second, that thought almost makes him turn back, he's got a dobe to beat, a mentor to crack and a pink menace to ignore. Then he remembers he's still alive. That's Itachi's weakness. And Orochimaru will teach him how to use it.

When he sees the snake on his throne, looking every bit of the sovereign of darkness that he is, Sasuke finally lets his Sharingan simmer in his gaze. He observes every hint of movement, struck by the silence around the man. The voices people were giving off in the streets, the feelings of hate, need and despair are all muted here. This is a man who isn't there. The thought makes no sense yet, but Sasuke knows it's true. This is a man who lost himself portraying what others want to see. Sasuke finds that even more disgusting than the greed that suddenly takes over the yellow eyes.

It's the first time Sasuke notices just how badly Orochimaru wants the Sharingan. That greed is Sasuke's leverage. It's the snake's defeat, handed to him on a silver plate.


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N: A bit short, this one. But it'll get better! Also, a huge thanks to SharinganProdigy, it's good to know someone's reading and enjoying!_

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 2**

Orochimaru's training is not just grueling and strenuous, it's plain cruel. Most of the so-called training Sasuke endures is planned, forethought to mentally break him. Fear is his constant companion, he's gotten to know it well. Fear of not being strong enough, fear of death, fear of giving in, fear of the unknown, fear of breaking, fear of pain. He's made fear an ally. He's learning to control it, so it can become an underling.

The worst he's had in the past couple of months was when they took his eyes away. Kabuto, that snivelling worm, sewed his eyes shut with metal wire, leaving him unable to even want to blink for the pain. The first week still makes Sasuke shiver with the memories. Recently blinded, thrown inside a prison with the most vile and revolting criminals in Sound. Of course he'd been caught. That was the point.

Sasuke knows what the snake is doing, keeping him too busy to think while still not giving away any of his tricks. But Sasuke isn't just any Shinobi. He's not just any lost soul, not just any needy apprentice. He's an Uchiha. He's Sasuke Uchiha. And that means he has the drive, the will to get what he wants.

So when he sneaks into Orochimaru's private quarters, he doesn't get caught. When he sits on his bed, legs crossed, patiently waiting, he's not surprised that the snake smells him before coming in.

"Sasuke-kun, what brings me the pleasure of your presence?"

The snake's voice is slithery, as is all of his character really. Sasuke has had the opportunity to change his mind since coming to Sound. He doubts anyone in this village could take on Orochimaru. Because the snake keeps it so. He keeps everyone bellow him, including Sasuke. And that won't do.

"I have some things I'd like to discuss with you, sensei." The title slips by Sasuke's lips effortlessly and he pauses for a moment. Lying has never come to him so easily before.

"Considering your aversion to speech, this must be important." As if the sneaking in private quarters didn't prove that already. "Do take a seat. What may I do for you?"

It's not the first time Sasuke notices how smoothly Orochimaru takes control of a conversation, tilting it the way he wants it. Like Sasuke came here to ask for a favor.

"I came to you four months ago for the power to defeat my brother. I haven't seen a glimpse of anything here that will help me do that yet. But I know, Orochimaru-sama, that you have that power." Sasuke pauses, looking suitably impressed with the Sannin, "Although I don't remember our discussing terms for handing my body over to you."

"Terms, Uchiha-san?"

"Yes. Terms."

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Since that night, Sasuke has improved tremendously. It's not so much a matter of sheer power, although just on that front, he knows he's a match for pretty much any sound nin.

What Sasuke has learned from the snake is all about weakness. His own and other people's. It's been six months since he left Konoha and Sasuke can't even begin to articulate how much his view of the Shinobi life has changed. Much of what Kakashi said makes more sense now. He finds staggering the idea that he once thought he could rid himself of every weakness. That he once thought, (all of those two months ago) that he could become too strong for weaknesses.

He's lying in his dark room, under the bed where he spends most of his free time. There's something superstitious about it, but Sasuke can't bring up the energy to give a fuck. Orochimaru spies on him from time to time, but for some reason, he tends to leave Sasuke alone in his room. Sasuke figures It would be too easy if that were always true and that's precisely what makes him slip under the bed to think.

He summons up some Chakra to his fingertips and snaps them, producing the essence of the Chidori, having it lick at his hand. It used to be painful, but he's gotten used to the sting now. It's a vain and purely pointless vestige of pride that makes Sasuke glad it's not burning his skin or scarring him some other way.

What makes Sasuke a genius isn't the Sharingan. It's not the hard work he does to perfect his techniques. It's not even the ease with which he picks up notions and techiques. What earns him the title of genius is his mind, the way he thinks and _understands_ every jutsu he's shown. To learn it isn't enough, because everyone can learn a jutsu or two. That's nothing special. What's special is being able to improve and innovate. Sasuke knows he wouldn't be able to challenge Shikamaru's cold genius for strategies and for juggling with so many goddamn wild cards, but he's fairly sure the shadow-nin wouldn't catch up to him in this area. It requires more than IQ, it demands a streak of artistic soul to feel a creation.

So Sasuke spends his time under the bed, because he'll be damned if he lets Orochimaru know what he can do with his mind.

"It's unhealthy, masster." Sasuke turns to the voice, giving a pointed look to the large serpent curling beside him under the bed. Ever since he signed the contract with the snakes, Sasuke has been reflecting on their natures. Loyalty seems a strange concept to associate with the snakes but he's surprised to find most of them are lazy, good-natured and tend to be stubborn in their opinions to the point that some of it might be considered loyalty. This particular snake is a prime example of it. The problem with snakes, though, is that you can't predict them. Cruelty doesn't seem to be a part of their vocabulary. They just don't recognize it from typical behavior. Sasuke wouldn't be surprised to find that the reptile had been telling all about his activities to Orochimaru if he thought it would be in Sasuke's best interest to do so.

"Hello, Nagraji-san."

"You should get some resst."

"Will you keep watch for me?"

"Of coursse."

Content with just that, Sasuke curls up on himself and closes his eyes. He feels the snake slither over and around him protectively and sighs.

"Ssleep."

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It's another month before Sasuke learns about the Kyuubi. He can't say he's shocked, or even surprised. If anything, the feeling that comes over him is disappointment. He's disappointed in himself for thinking of Naruto for one. For indulging in memories of him. All the anger, the compassion and understanding, every bit of the competitive edge to their relationship, it comes back in a rush and Sasuke feels it keenly.

And second, he's disappointed in Naruto.

_Cheating_.

Because the Kyuubi isn't Naruto. And Sasuke doesn't want to fight the Fox. He wants to fight Naruto. To find out _Naruto_'s worth. To challenge _his_ strength. Not the demon's.

Sasuke feels cheated. He feels cheated out of his sense of worth. Because now, he knows Naruto's strength isn't all his. And he knows Naruto would have _failed_ if not for the Kyuubi. Sasuke would have been Naruto's first true failure with Haku. He would also have been his last at Valley's End.

That moment still gives Sasuke pause. He had felt the killing instinct back then with Naruto. Sasuke had really wanted to kill him. To end his life. To make him nothing. Sasuke wanted to prove Naruto wrong. _No, Naruto, you can't do the impossible, you can't redeem everyone, you can't be this strong and you cannot convince me. If I can't do it, then neither should you._

Is that betrayal? Sometimes it feels like it, and Sasuke doesn't like it. But sometimes it feels like love, because Naruto is and always was an unstoppable force. To be the only one able to _stop_ him so thoroughly... that sometimes feels less like a betrayal and more like a desperate attempt to feel important to someone.

And that is childish enough.

Sasuke is thirteen years old.


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N: This chapter is when it started to get really interesting to me during the writing process. Enjoy! (And I will kill my freaking spacebar. Soon.)  
_

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 3**

Sasuke's role in Sound has evolved in the past year. He started out as a simple guest, then lower than dirt _entertainment,_ then he was one among many, singled out for better purposes and now he's a regent, a force to reckon and a feared enforcer. Sasuke doesn't like chivalry, he doesn't believe in saving the weak from the strong. Survival of the fittest is what he lives by.

But as days go by, growing stronger steadily, Sasuke starts to see people for their potential, not their worth. The child so easily crushed under a grown man's weight could outgrow that same man. The woman insulted and slighted could bear and raise children strong enough to defend her.

In the dark and cruel environment that is Sound, Sasuke finds himself wanting to save those he can, for their potential. It's not meant to manipulate people into owing him, Sasuke could never bring himself to see kindness as a tool for manipulation. His _aniki_ has seen to that. Sasuke likes to think he still has a parcel of honor, when he can afford it. He likes to think he's different.

Orochimaru calls Sasuke's attempts pathetic. The cruelty around Sound is like the sea; changing, calm sometimes, other times furiously intense, but it surrounds everything. The snake sannin has built the environment in his mind and transposed it into this village. In many ways, Sasuke thinks, Sound is a reflection of Orochimaru's strongest and yet weakest point. His pain.

It surprises Sasuke that he gets along well with Orochimaru now. After their little face-off earlier, the Sannin started to take Sasuke more seriously, if only slightly. The boy never forgets that he's a pawn, but Orochimaru never forgets that Sasuke has what he needs. If he didn't know any better, Sasuke would say the snake likes him. But Sasuke does know better.

They talk a lot. Considering Sasuke's silent ways, or as the snake put it, his 'aversion to speech', that in itself is surprising. It's an exchange though, and Sasuke learns to measure his words even more than he did before because Orochimaru is _smart _and he is devious in conversation as in pretty much everything. They discuss techniques and human nature. Sasuke doesn't like that he agrees with the snake so often.

He knows Orochimaru lets him get away with a lot of things, and though the reasons why that is still escape him, he's thankful enough for the lenience. No one around Sound gets away with trying to breathe kindness into the sea, and certainly not training alone for extended periods of time or running off periodically without someone tailing them. The dark-haired boy is very aware that this is not a show of trust or kindness, but is unable to come up with any explanation for it.

Sasuke wonders sometimes if the snake wants to die. It seems a little ridiculous to say it aloud, considering the sole purpose of Orochimaru is immortality. But sometimes, when no one's looking, the village echoes feelings around the Sannin. Orochimaru stinks of fear. Fear of death, fear of need.

In those times when no one's looking, Sasuke can't help but think on his unique freedom in Sound. He wonders why Orochimaru lets him train on his own so much. He wonders if Orochimaru even considers him a threat. He wonders if the snake really intended for himto grow as strong as he has.

In the end, Sasuke thinks his freedom in Sound comes from a delicate balance of Orochimaru's greed for power, his fear of death, and his need of pain.

A couple of months after Sasuke's fourteenth birthday, the snake brings him to the dungeons. Sasuke has always known they existed, could always feel them, but he's never allowed himself to go there before. So when they head south and below, Sasuke holds his breath. It's a useless gesture, so he quits it almost immediately, only to start over again. He tries not to smell the feelings around this place. Hearing them is enough.

Orochimaru kisses him for the first time. All Sasuke can think about is whether or not his lips taste like death and fear. The sannin does. But Sasuke has made both of those allies, so he returns the kiss, just a touch of shyness about it. He thinks, this is pure, this is not evil.

The snake releases him, and Sasuke could swear that he can hear the sannin's pain now. Orochimaru looks the same, smells the same, he even feels the same. But he echoes of pain. Stronger than ever.

Sasuke quickly dismisses the thought that he brought that pain out. He thinks it's this place, the dungeons with all its moans and pleads that calls out to the sannin. Yet that's not right either, because as soon as the snake releases his arms and takes a few steps away, the muted silence wraps back around him.

Sasuke wonders if the deafening silence would break, should he kiss Orochimaru again. He thinks that wouldn't do it, unless they were in the dungeons again. As always, everything in Sound is a combination of feelings.

When they reach the end of the road to the last cells, Orochimaru pauses and smiles that cruel smile. Sasuke thinks he knows where this is heading.

"I will require your help, Sasuke-kun."

And that's bullshit, really. Sasuke knows that. He can feel that from miles away.

"Of course, Orochimaru-sensei."

"In the second cell to the left is a snow-nin who persistently attempted to assassinate me for the last year and a half. I would like you to question him and figure out his motives. His chakra is bound and we have blinded him temporarily. He is no threat to you."

"Learning of his motives is all you wish, Sensei?"

"No. I wish for you to destroy him. You will come back as many times as needed until that man is no more, understood?"

Sasuke nods, because he knew where this was going. It doesn't stop him from politely and silently asking his friend Fear to leave for a while.

"What may I not use to accomplish this goal?"

"All possible means are at your disposition, Sasuke-kun. Make me proud."

Those last few words finally get a visible reaction from Sasuke and even though it's just a tightening of the fists, a bite of his bottom lip, Orochimaru sees it and he smiles again, an almost fond smile.

When the snake leaves, Sasuke breathes in deeply, gathering his wits about him. He figures he might as well see the man he's going to destroy. It takes another few seconds of focusing on breathing before Sasuke is content with his emotional state. He then walks steadily, proudly and with purpose to the second cell to the left. The jutsu holding the walls of chakra up earns Sasuke's attention for a long while before he even gets interested in the man inside.

When Sasuke's fairly sure he can put up a similar jutsu after his visit, he takes the scroll and rips it away, sensing the barrier disappearing. The man inside does too, judging from the rattling of heavy chains and the sudden raise of a brown head.

It comes as no surprise to Sasuke that he recognizes this man. The ordinary brown hair has grown in captivity so it now falls down to the man's broad shoulders. Sasuke steps inside the cell, unsurprised that there's a stool waiting for him just about an inch away from the chains' reach. Orochimaru knows Sasuke well enough.

Sasuke takes the stool and inches it backtwo inches, because he knows Orochimaru, too.He sits, legs spread comfortably, settling for a long wait. He's going to have to wait the man out, to start. So he watches him, notes down everything about him.

The man obviously can't see, the irises of his eyes are discolored to a pale green, almost like the Hyuugas' discoloration. Sasuke thinks (_remembers_) they would be much more vibrant without the jutsu. He finds himself wondering how his own black eyes would look, discolored like that. Would they still be dark, or would they grow pale grey?

The straight nose and full mouth make for a generously handsome face, but the rough skin, scarred over cheek and forehead make him much more ordinary than he could have been. The dirt all over him does not help.

Sasuke's eyes drift down to the large shoulders, almost twice his own width. Yeah. This is definitely the man who greeted him to Sound. The chest is partially exposed, hints of dried blood under riped clothing showing off a tightly fit body. Powerful legs, muscled arms... Sasuke knows how strong this body is, how worthy of his scrutiny, but he gets caught up in watching the hands. He pulls his own hand up, watching his masculine but stilldelicately long, agile fingers, then compares it to the brute strength demonstrated in the shackled hands. Large palm, thick fingers that could crush someone's head on a whim.

There's also an aura of stubborness about him. Sasuke figures Orochimaru already tried to break him and when he found enough resistance to be challenging, transfered the burden to Sasuke.

Red slowly seeps into Sasuke's eyes and he watches the man. The Sharingan makes understanding easy. It makes Sasuke remember how a simple kiss brought the man to his knees. It makes sense of the man's reaction to being called a dog. It shows him how this man has been subtly rubbing his wrists against the shackles to increase his pain. A masochist. No wonder Orochimaru chose this one.

And the man knows he's being watched. Sasuke can see him feel it, can see the shiver up the man's spine and his minute movements, readying himself for an attack, in so small shifts that normal eyes would never catch on.

He seems to _need _so much. Despite his overbearing build, the man seems to crave pain permanently, he's almost vulnerable in his defiance, as if begging someone to tame him and force their will onto him.

Sasuke wonders if breaking this man would be such a bad thing. He seems already so damaged. Sometimes you have to break in order to heal right. With a nod to himself, Sasuke begins the process to end this quick.

He closes his eyes and calls around him the fear. His own fears of not being good enough, not being strong enough, of Itachi, of breaking and dying, of loving _someone_ too much. It's all around him, all his fears and weakness, like a dark beast Sasuke knows all too well. He breathes some Chakra into the sound of fear and opens his eyes. Beside him is the fruit of his training. It's what Nagraji warns him against, it's what he does under the bed, it's the secret skill he keeps from everyone. Beside him is a beast of fear.

It's a wolf, as far as Sasuke can tell, and it's not just dark, it's red and blue and orange and pink; it's every color painted in black. The Sharingan still simmers hotly and responding to its master's wish, the beast stalks forward. It leaps, faster than any eye can see, and molds into the man. The effect is immediate.

Screams. From the most secretive, instinctive place, the man screams. His body twists in horror, his hands curled up in tight fists, eyes so wide and mouth open, endlessly spilling screams. It looks like he's contorting to escape himself and it's the most horrible thing Sasuke has ever seen.

He's never subjected anyone to this before. Only the barest hint of willpower keeps Sasuke from calling everything off, fuck Orochimaru, fuck Sound and fuck Naruto too. Because those screams are so _raw_. It's not an expression of deep and hidden pain, the man doesn't even know he's screaming, it's primal _fear_.

After a minute, Sasuke can't take it anymore. He calls back the beast into himself and tries not to shake. The man in front of him is still blind, still shackled, but finally unconscious. Sasuke smells urine and he feels sick with the knowledge of what he's just done. He stands and exits the room, putting back the barrier distractedly before hurrying past the horrified stares of prisoners who saw nothing, but heard every single scream.

He can't stand being congratulated for this, so he leaves the village. It's night and the soothingly cold light of the moon filtering through the trees is just enough to stop Sasuke from vomiting. He keeps walking, holding his stomach, aware of nothing but the next step. He doesn't go too far though, that's one of the things Orochimaru wouldn't permit, no matter how tolerant he's decided to be with Sasuke and the boy has regained enough control to remember that. Once he's reached the lake, Sasuke stops walking and collapses to his knees. He closes his eyes against the screams echoing in his head and he summons Nagraji.

There's no words exchanged, the snake knows better than to speak the second he spots the fine trembling in Sasuke. He slithers over to the boy and wraps around him, offering what comfort he can.

Nagraji may not be as powerful as Manda, but he's not at his first skin shed. He knows Sasuke is no ordinary kid. He's a Sharingan user for one, and he's got a lot more guts than Orochimaru, if you ask Nagraji. His creation, the beast of fear, shows that much. Nagraji thinks of Sasuke as his master and if he were a human, no one would ever be able to touch the child but him.

"I used it against a man today, Nagraji-san." The shaking has settled some and Sasuke is starting to feel more like himself. He whispers, because it's Nagraji and they're in Sound territory.

"Call the Chidori, child. It will make you feel better." The boy's creation does unsettle Nagraji, but he also thinks it's pure genius. Because everyone fears. Some can face it, but in the end, everyone feels it and no one ever truly overcomes a phobia .Sasuke doesn't need to hear this. He needs to feel human and Nagraji knows (in all his wisdom) that nothing does that like the Nagashi-chidori.

Sasuke nods at the snake's words and stands, waiting for Nagraji to uncurl before he performs the seals for the Nagashi-Chidori, the full body chidori that demands so much Chakra, so much energy and speed and strength that he can finally put his mind to rest and just _fight_.

When he finally gets back to the village, Orochimaru is waiting. Sasuke doesn't have the will to oppose him right now. He's just too weary. So he lets himself be led to the snake's chambers, lets himself be congratulated on his work today. Sasuke knows there's more coming, but the edge of his vision is turning black and though Orochimaru's quarters are far from a safe place to do this, especially with the snake in them, Sasuke just can't take anymore strain. He leans against the Sannin and promptly loses consciousness.

_TBC..._


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: This chapter holds hints of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. The naughty bits have been cut, but there is still very strong innuendo of violent sex (not rape). Be warned for nasty language as well. Oh, and as the chapters go on writing themselves, I've determined that this is definitely an Alternate Universe fic._

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 4**

Orochimaru doesn't know what to think of his young protege sometimes. He can read him like a book on most any day but sometimes the boy escapes him. He doesn't understand how Sasuke can still think of Honor in Sound. He supposes the boy is stronger than he thought.

In many ways, Orochimaru knows he's over-indulging Sasuke, letting him have his own time, teaching him so much of the things he knows, from forbidden techniques to some of the unknown history of Konoha. Orochimaru tells himself it's because Sasuke's consciousness will still exist in his body, and it's best he knew how to fight like the Sannin, and best he knew the things that Orochimaru knows.

He knows it's a lie. Orochimaru knows how to detect lies, even in himself. He's mastered that art since he was a child of five. So then, Orochimaru thinks he may indulge Sasuke because he's reminded of himself when he watches him. That's closer to the truth, but still not quite enough.

In the end, it may be that Orochimaru wants to play with destiny. It may be that he wants Sasuke to keep the minute part of him that holds compassion. It may be Orochimaru wants him to keep that weakness.

Orochimaru sometimes thinks he doesn't have a strong enough hold on Sasuke. When the boy passes out in his arms, and he feels _something_ foreign in him, something that almost feels like being trusted, Orochimaru smirks and puts him to bed. His hold on the boy is more than strong enough.

* * *

When Sasuke wakes the next morning, his head is pounding steadily with a headache, his hands have a fine shake to them that indicates the weakness still present in his body. He overdid the training last night, he recognises that feeling. Sitting up carefully, Sasuke blinks at his surroundings. The first thing that jumps to attention is a hairbrush, its handle the head of a snake. It's enough for Sasuke. This is not his room in Sound.

Instantly awake, he gathers himself up and scans the place. The richly decorated furniture and the multiple mirors around the room tell all. Orochimaru's quarters. A sudden flash of memory jolts Sasuke and he swallows silently past a dry throat remembering exactly what brought him here. He closes his eyes and focuses on trying to get the sick feeling in his stomach to leave. The memory is a smell. The smell of a grown man pissing himself in fear.

A few deep breaths and some vigorous biting of a bottom lip finally have the mask of indifference slip on, envelopping Sasuke in comforting coolness, slowing his heartrate, calming the headache. When he next looks up, Sasuke has himself under perfect control and the morning weakness is but a fleeting memory.

He stands and dresses, stopping the instinctive shiver as he thinks of Orochimaru undressing him in the first place. He briskly walks out of the room, through the hall of mirors and underground maze of tunnels that lead to the kitchen. Everyone is already gathered there. Ninjas of all ages and sizes are bickering, some fighting, others just sitting and looking dangerous. There's even some having decent-looking conversations. Sound is a depraved place, but it's also a place for lost souls and not every lost soul is rotten to the core. Bypassing the twins armwrestling, under the stretched limbs of a murderous-looking rock nin, Sasuke makes his way to the counter.

The large woman in front of the cooking pots is someone Sasuke has always been deeply disturbed by. The fat rolls off her muscles and face, making every curve she might've had a flabby and wriggling memory. When she moves, the rest of her flesh follows a second after, like an afterthought. She's _huge_. It's an advantage, in her case. No taijutsu user can beat her. Nothing can get past the fat to do some actual damage. For his first couple of nights after meeting her, Sasuke had nightmares about being crushed under her massive weight.

He vaguely grunts at her in greeting and she immediatey hands him a plate with the most sincere attempt at a smile. An unseen shudder goes through Sasuke's frame as he takes his meal without a word of thanks. He takes a bite slowly, tasting for poison in the meal. The woman's smile changes into a knowing smirk, as he'd known it would. Then a booming laugh echoes out of her throat and across the walls, getting the attention of all the nins in the kitchen.

"Ah, Sasuke-sama. You know I wouldn't harm such a handsome man as you! You don't need to check for poison, luv." The tone is seductive and wants itself persuasive.

Sasuke simply replies, his voice at its usual freeze, "The day I stop, Mycah, is the day you _will_ poison me."

The laughing, this time, comes from all parties in the dining room. Humor around Sound is always a little screwed up.

"Smart boy, too!" The mound of fat exclaims. Sasuke rolls his eyes and satisfied with his meal, goes to sit beside Tayuya in the back.

Her back straightens up and her eyes narrow silently. Sasuke gives back his own greeting in the form of a knowing smirk. They eat without a word, until Tayuya finishes. They have an understanding. Tayuya doesn't like him and he doesn't like her, but as a growing boy, Sasuke does find himself with some growing... needs. And Tayuya is always responsive to him.

He wonders why she only lets him fuck her. He's had girls throwing themselves at him for years now, it's only fair that he take advantage of some of the benefits. But he's not the most experienced and caring lover in the world. Tayuya could have anyone she wants. She's one of the strongest nins as well as one of the most striking beauties in Sound (although most certainly regarded as such against her will).

She's a feisty thing in bed, and he knows she enjoys the feeling of being controlled by a will stronger than her own. Yet Sasuke is mostly a selfish lover, and Tayuya is a just as selfish. It's a wonder they can fuck at all.

She watches him, taking in his tense frame, shadowed eyes and closed expression. She just sneers at him, "Got your ice shower today, Sasuke-_sama_?"

The insult brings a raised brow from Sasuke. "Someone hasn't had their fix." He finishes eating slower than usual, drawing more insults from the redhead who obviously wants him to be done _now_. One insult does make him wince internally though, something about castrating him with her teeth. Her mouth has been in too close proximity to that part of his anatomy for him to not react to that one. He puts his plate down when he's done, taking a second to let the meal settle. He then rises and goes to rinse his utensils and plate. Like the well-raised boy he is, he takes care that all of it is done properly.

Or maybe he wants Tayuya to wait, make her keep glaring at his back like she's trying to pierce his body with her gaze alone.

He doesn't say anything, just leaves and heads into the tunnels. Tayuya follows at a brisker pace, as if trying to force him to walk faster out of people's sight.

The second they find a secluded spot in the deserted area near the servants' quarters, she backs him into the nearest wall. They're the same height now. Tayuya was never a tall girl and Sasuke has grown a lot in just a few months. He is _not_ in the mood to fool around and let her think she may have the upper hand. Not today. He knows she wants a fuck, and damn but he wants her right now. Wants her wrapped around him, desperate and begging for more. He knows she'll give in. She always does. She needs to be taken, a woman like her is too high a price, too beautiful and strong to give in to any less than that.

Oh and how she loves to be brought down from her might to be used... he can smell the need on her. The need to be taken ruthlessly. Sasuke lets himself enjoy the smell of her so close to him, thinking maybe the reason she lets only him fuck her isn't because she wants just him. It's because she smells honor on him. She feels he won't go too far. She certainly doesn't realise that he could decide to _not_ stop when she asks.

When her lips come into contact with his, Sasuke draws his hand back, and though she sees the hit coming, she stays right where she is, waiting for the palm to strike her pale cheek. It does with a loud smack and her head snaps to the side, red hair covering half of her face when she brings herself back to look at him, heat in her gaze. Sasuke fists a hand in those beautiful crimson locks and crushes their mouths together. His tongue slips into her mouth, tasting alcohol, need and a breeze of lightning. He keeps a tight hold on her hair, not enough to really hurt, but enough to force her still. She moans into his mouth and submits to having her mouth taken.

Sasuke shifts their positions, pushing her up against the wall and holding her there with his kiss, with his hips slowly thrusting against her. He begins to fuck her mouth, tongue driving into her rhythmically. The girl mewls under the treatment, her fingers coming up to grasp needfully at Sasuke's shoulders. Then one hand slips lower, gripping tight to his hip under the shirt. She thrusts back against him, one leg wrapping up high around his waist. He breaks away from her and slaps her again, the other still untouched cheek, earning himself a low growly moan from her. "So eager..."

About an hour later, they're both breathing hard, collapsed on the floor of the public shower room of all things. Sasuke knows Tayuya couldn't move if her life depended on it right now. He ponders leaving her here to recover, but quickly decides against it. He lifts her to lean against the shower wall and covers her body as best he can with what's left of her clothes. When he moves to pick her up, he wincess at the sudden pain on his back. She must've scratched him from shoulder to waist again. Damn bothersome girl. He leans her head against his chest and kisses her hair. She would protest the action at any other time, but now just lets a content and subdued hum out of her throat.

Sasuke brings the redhead back to her quarters, setting her down on her bed. He removes all of the remaining clothing, leaving her bare as she was minutes before, then wipes a bit of blood from the corner of her mouth where she bit through her lip. Next, he wets a towel and carefully cleans the mess of semen between her legs and over her face. When he's done, she stops him from doing anything more for her with a few soft words, "You'll always be too good for this place, Sasuke." Her voice is a mere whisper, but Sasuke wants to tell her how wrong she is. He wants to say he deserves to be here, because it was his choice and he lost Konoha and everything in it voluntarily. He wants to say he deserves the consequences of his actions. But he doesn't. He just kisses her lips quickly and orders, "Rest, Tayuya."

It feels like atonement and it's cathartic in its sweetness. Sasuke won't ever admit that he feels sunlight and blue eyes on Tayuya.

_TBC..._

_To Midnight Velvet - Sasuke will definitely continue to grow and in many different ways too. You just sit tight and read, luv. Several more surprises coming your way!  
_


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: That man in the cells is a fucked up person. That is all. Enjoy!_

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 5**

After an afternoon spent with Kabuto in the labs, Sasuke has completely lost his good mood from the earlier fuck. Kabuto is frighteningly smart, he's devoted and he does _not_ like the Uchiha. The medic-nin enjoys finding ways to make the Uchiha participate in the most disgusting of Orochimaru's experiments. Sasuke knows he has more reason to fear Kabuto than Orochimaru. Kabuto has no personal interest in his survival. He has Orochimaru's orders and that's it. It's enough to keep his body safe but his mind is another matter entirely.

Once in a while, Sasuke glimpses jealousy off the man. He thinks that everyone in Sound has Pain and Fear. Kabuto is no different so Sasuke tries not to mind him too much. But tolerating Kabuto is starting to be more and more challenging. The man positively reeks of lust everytime they meet. Sasuke has hardly ever seen anything more unsettling than Kabuto cutting open a corpse, his mind so focused on the task it always looks like he's having sex.

Sasuke knows how badly Kabuto wants Orochimaru. He thinks if Kabuto had the power to do so, he would kill the sannin just to rape the corpse.

Wiping _that_ image from his brain, Sasuke straightens up in his seat and watches closely as Kabuto sends wires of chakra inside the veins of a blond-haired female. There's a wide array of bottles and syringes on the obscenely clean counter. The woman is strapped to a waist-high, white operation table with white bonds that cling to each of her limbs. She's unconscious and naked, but her eyes are covered by white cloth.

The stool on which Sasuke is sitting is also, surprisingly, white. And very uncomfortable. They've been testing poisons on this woman for the better part of the afternoon and judging by her muscle reaction the degree of pain, paralysis and hallucinatory potential in each of the mixes in those white bottles by the table. The wires of chakra that Kabuto sends up her system slowly clean her veins of poison. It's an extremely difficult art that Kabuto masters perfectly. Each tendril of thin, so thin chakra has to split and separate until it's gone by every vein, every hole of her body.

It wouldn't be too difficult to witness if Kabuto had chosen her mouth as the opening from which to send his tendrils in. As if, he's sitting between her spread legs, humming to himself.

Sasuke learns a lot from these encounters. He learns to heal injured people, some new techniques here and there. He learns most about cruelty.

"We're nearly done with this one, she can't take much more." Kabuto's voice echoes through the too-white room and Sasuke nods. It's true. The girl's body is showing the typical signs of strain, the twitch of the unconscious fingers, toes, the breathing erratic, then slow, then not really there, her lips mouthing some senseless words. Sasuke hopes it's a prayer. It's more suiting for a dying girl.

It's better if she dies here. Kabuto is cleaning her veins, hoping to save her body for another day of torture tomorrow. But Sasuke knows her mind is almost destroyed. She hasn't spoken at all during the last year. No begging, no cursing, just acceptance.

When Kabuto is about done cleaning her up and she's still breathing, Sasuke bites his lip to keep from cursing on her behalf. He wishes he could save her. Could heal her. But after what her body's been through, there's no way she could even function properly as anything but a vegetable.

"Here, Sasuke-san." Looking up at Kabuto, Sasuke sees the blanket held out to him, an obvious sign that she can be taken back to her container. They're not even cells anymore, just containers. He nods and takes hold of the white cloth, then unstraps the limp body from the table. Wrapping her up in the blanket, Sasuke is suddenly reminded of Tayuya this morning, how he did the exact same thing for her and the thought is so striking and so horrifying at once that he nearly drops the blond girl.

"Do you require help?" Kabuto's voice isn't mocking or reproachful, it's just kind, soft and helpful. Sasuke lifts the girl in his arms and takes her away from him as fast as possible without looking like he's running away. He doesn't miss the smirk on Kabuto's face when he leaves the room.

The containers are coffins, no more, no less. This girl will probably get a week's rest after tonight so she can give better reactions to the tests next time. Sasuke wants to take her out of Sound and into the lake. He wants to wash her with water that hasn't been disinfected. He wants to show her that there's more to life than waking up in a bottle to be tortured.

The first time he tried to save a boy, he was the one to spend a week in the container. Being fed without eating, being washed without moving, living without breathing. So in the end, he just removes the top of her container with a kick and lies her down there. He sits by her side, hesitating to cover her up again.

He traces the contours of her pale face. She could have been so beautiful. Her lips are shapely, her chin is softly rounded, her nose small and uplifted. Sasuke removes the white blindfold, unsurprised to meet two large brown eyes that aren't looking at anything. His forgotten and hardened heart gives a tug. He gives her a shaky corner smile, because with the fate she has in life, she should never be frowned upon. The girl mimicks him dumbly, like a two year old child, and Sasuke caresses her hair gently. "You're beautiful."

Her unseeing eyes seem to focus on him suddenly and Sasuke stares at her, frozen in shock at the spark of life. She smiles wider at him and repeats to herself, "Beautiful." The word is clumsy and half swallowed, but it's clear enough. She closes her eyes, that peaceful smile still present on her lips. When her eyes fall shut, Sasuke recovers from the shock and he blindfolds her again, then puts back the lid of the container. He's unable to make the nausea go away, his headache is back full-force. He can't rid his eyelids of the sight of her smile.

The test subjects are raised to be just that, taken from the streets of Sound and thrown into the containers from their youngest age. They've never known anything but the container, the table and Kabuto. It's not the first time Sasuke feels sick because of this, but it never loses any of its intensity overtime.

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke rises but doesn't walk away. He knows if he turns, he'll meet Kabuto's amused eyes.

When he's fairly sure there's no one waiting, he walks away, his mind entirely set on breathing steadily. He wanders around the village for a while, keeping a watch on every small thing and avoiding the conflicts with practiced ease.

Some of the younger children flock around him and he tries to ignore them. Getting attached to children around Sound is a bad idea. The stronger ones are taken to train around four years old. The others are taken in as slaves, sexual or otherwise, and in worse case senario, they're be taken to Kabuto.

The children generally hover around Sasuke despite the fact that he's no more gentle with them than most adults. He's just not a child-person. He does honor his mother and father's memory, however. He's known the kindness of a mother, the firm hand of a father. He lost them, but he's known them. So maybe he's not cruel with children. Maybe he wants to defend them, sometimes. Maybe he often gets in trouble because of that.

He likes to leave some food for them. He tries not to learn their names. Sasuke thinks there's something fundamentally wrong about _him_ being the kindest presence those children can find.

As things are now, after the dungeons, Tayuya and the blond-girl, Sasuke is in no mood for them. Even as some clamor their accomplishments, yearning for approval, Sasuke grunts out an annoyed noise and disappears onto the rooftops.

Before he knows it, he's back at the entrance of the dungeons. Like before, he can't stop himself from holding his breath. He doesn't really know why he's here. Maybe the cruelty is suffocating him, maybe he's trying to redeem himself for yesterday evening... he has no idea what he's going to do here. But he nonetheless holds his breath and walks past the guards.

To the end of the corridor, then through, to the second cell on the left. Sasuke was expecting to see it empty, the man taken away for experiments or released or just killed. He's surprised to find two vibrantly green eyes looking straight back at him. The man's chakra isn't restrained anymore but he's tame as a kitten, his eyes hinting of a broken spirit and Sasuke knows he did that. The notion doesn't sit well with him.

Sasuke walks closer and pulls off the barrier seal, conscious that only the chains are holding back this huge and powerful man. He again sits on his stool, breathing as little as possible, because the man still reeks of piss and fear.

Speaking so little and being able to turn to his own thoughts is one of Sasuke's great advantages. He's more patient than ever before. He sits and waits, watching, waiting. His attention is fully focused on the man in front of him. How far is he broken? Will he try to escape?

He hopes the man still has some spirit left. He hopes the damage he did can be undone. Watching the man's brightly green eyes and seeing submission and pain and fear there, Sasuke wonders if it's an act. He thinks underneath it all, he can see the need to flee. With a little inner smirk, Sasuke just waits. It'll come soon enough.

He's not disappointed. Although it's hours later, well into the night, the man finally makes a move to escape. His wrists twist their restraints off as if he'd been free all along and the man leaps at Sasuke, killing intent all over him.

Sasuke doesn't move. His body remains perfectly still in front of the man's aggression.

The man stops, his fist inches away from Sasuke's unfeeling face. He's shaking, Sasuke can see the strain, the losing battle the man is warring with himself. So for the first time, Sasuke breaks the silence, "Follow, dog."

And the man lowers his head and his fist. His entire body reflects defeat. Broken indeed.

Sasuke stands and walks away. The man follows him.

Orochimaru is waiting for them outside the prison. Sasuke can't tell if the man is proud, annoyed or amused. Both of those options being positive, Sasuke decides to dare the deed. He holds his hand up, signaling for the dog to stop, which it unfailingly does, then he walks to Orochimaru and requests, "May I keep him, Orochimaru-sensei?"

"It would have been well-manered of you to request that before choosing a pet, Sasuke-kun." That's a threat and a yes all at once. Sasuke knows there'll be punishment, but he'll be allowed this whim like all others.

"When will you expect me tomorrow morning, Sensei?" Because Sasuke is in no mood to play around the fact that he's going to get pain for doing this. He doesn't think Orochimaru is either.

"Six." And the sannin turns on his heel, out of sight within seconds.

"Come, Dog." Sasuke is _not _looking forward to the next morning. It makes him harsher than he would usually be. He takes the man to his quarters, then pushes him in the bathroom with a stern order, "Clean yourself."

While the man is in the shower, Sasuke's jaw clenches. There's just _something_ about him that makes his fists clench in anger, something about this man makes Sasuke want to hurt him, despite the fact that he brought him here to make amends of some sort.

It's like the man is challenging him, always, in every small thing. Challenging him with his submission. Sasuke can't slide under the bed, no matter how much he wants to. There will be no confusion as to who masters who around here. So for the first time since he came to Sound, Sasuke lies down on his bed.

The large man exits his bathroom five minutes later naked and thankfully clean. Sasuke gestures him closer. Until the so-tall man looms over him almost threateningly. "Kneel."

The man complies, finally brought down to Sasuke's level. He looks almost comfortable with the task. Looks comfortable kneeling like this for a master. Several things click in Sasuke's head at the sight and he orders, "Speak."

"I am... thankful..." The voice is rough from disuse and Sasuke doesn't even hear the words, just the tone. Slow, careful.

"Tell me why you wanted to kill Orochimaru."

The man looks down and Sasuke finds it ridiculous that such a strong, large person should look so vulnerable all of a sudden. It clicks suddenly, why this man inspires so much anger in him. "While you're at it, tell me why you think you love me."

And that brings a glint of spirit back into the man's eyes. Sasuke is glad to see it, somehow. He tries not to think of blue, because those eyes are so green.

"Do not take my feelings lightly!"

"How can I not? What could I possibly be to you apart from your tormentor?"

The wince in the man's kneeling form is unmistakable, "My tormentor is what you are. From the first you came into the Village, I watched you. You are strong, beautiful, _spirited_, perfect. You have honor. You deserve everything the world can offer... your eyes should never be shadowed with pain... When you kissed me the first time, I found my true master. You torment me with the pain, the longing for you. My master will _not_ be defiled by a snake."

The entire speech is spoken softly, with intense conviction. Surprise momentarily takes over Sasuke's senses and the next he knows, the man is over him, breathing shallow and face scrunched up in desire, "I've watched you grow, adjust and evolve. I have wanted you, your taste, your love. I... need of you. So badly it's a constant ache."

Sasuke grows from surprised to shocked, because This Is a **Lie**. _No one lies with so much need, do they?_

He doesn't inspire love in people. He doesn't. People get infatuated with his looks and allure, they never _love_ him because they don't _know _him. This is no different.

But the shaking of the man's frame over him, the delicate way his so-powerful fingers brush against Sasuke's skin, like he's the most precious thing in the world... that does something to Sasuke's sense of self which he had never thought possible. He's reminded so harshly of Itachi that he puts far more force into the blow than necessary, knocking the man off him brutally.

"You have no grounds to say those things. You don't _know_ me." Sasuke's voice is _furious_, he's annoyed at his anger but can't seem to stop himself, his fists are clenched and his eyes narrow red on the man.

"Then let me learn you, Sasuke-sama, please. Let me stay near you. I will do anything."

At that, Sasuke sneers angrily, and growls out, "Fool. If Naruto couldn't, what makes you think you can?" And he so dearly wants those words back the second they're spoken. Sasuke's short nails dig crescents into his palms.

The man's reaction is completely different from what he expected. From where he landed on the floor, the man springs up and over him again. The fine shaking hasn't stopped, in fact, if anything, the man is outright trembling now. His hands are seeking Sasuke's, uncurling the fingers and stopping the nails from digging further into his palm. He whispers against Sasuke's lips, "Please... don't hurt yourself like this... Let me stay... let me care for you... please."

Red eyes narrowed, Sasuke pushes the man off him again, thankfully feeling his blanket of cool wrap his anger in ice. "There will be conditions, Dog. Are you willing to submit to them?"

"Anything, Sasuke, anything for you."

_tbc..._

_To extasy: Tayuya was a big surprise for me too. I thought she was dead. I would rather a resurected character than an OC anyway !points up! one fucked up OC is enough. Hope you enjoyed._


	7. Chapter 6

_A/N: This chapter... is definitely my favorite. It's a turning point and it made me do a little victory dance. _

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 6**

For the next couple of months, Sasuke sets out to make the man suffer. He doesn't justify himself, doesn't really think about it. He makes the man suffer for pretending to love, for thinking he can stay by Sasuke's side. Sasuke makes him suffer because Itachi's memory makes breathing difficult.

His name is Masahiro Ren and Sasuke knows two very important things about Ren. The first one is that he truly is a masochist. The second is that he believes in his devotion to Sasuke to a point that would make Sakura look like a frigid bitch.

Sasuke learns quickly that humiliating or inflicting pain on this man serves no purpose. Sasuke can do no wrong and if he punishes Ren, then Ren must've earned it somehow. He finds that the best way to hurt the snow-nin is to hurt himself. To overwork himself and forbid Ren from helping him. He finds that Ren is the only man who can truly push him to useless cruelty.

Ren makes him feel so safe and protected that Sasuke can't take it. It's strange how no amount of pain, fear or death could bring him to be cruel, but someone who pretends to love him brings him to such extremes effortlessly. Sasuke goes through the training with more purpose than he ever has before. His brother's face is all he sees on Ren and Orochimaru knows it. The snake watches and knows. Kabuto watches and knows too.

He's fighting right now, the chidori forming a protective coccoon of intense light around him. He faces three opponents, each a different type of specialized fighter. Sasuke is engaged in close combat with a Taijutsu user, his Chidori countering the ninjutsu of the other ninja and his Sharingan desperately dispelling the genjutsu of the third. Sasuke is struggling to keep up with it all, barely blocking the blows aimed to break his bones, barely countering the powerful waves of water, barely seeing through the dozens of opponents that aren't really there.

He jumps back and away, gaining a few seconds of precious time by hiding behind a large rock. He closes his burning eyes, catching his breath. They've been at it so long already... and he's no closer to victory. A low growl starts in Sasuke's chest and his Sharingan spins when he next opens his eyes. _Itachi will be much harder than this, can't you even keep up with a few weak nins?_ The voice should be Orochimaru's, but it sounds like Ren's and Sasuke's fury roars, more intense than ever. It's barely concealed as he leaps in the air, avoiding the crushing water jutsu that comes at him. He summons the speed and the strength he's worked on so much to slip under the tide that follows him in his leap. He can see the Taijutsu user moving to block his movement, to protect the second nin, he can see exactly where the man will be. He can see the openings, the weaknesses. He knows how to end the battle in ten seconds.

Sasuke starts to count. He catches himself inches from the man's counterattack (one) and he spins around, (two) slams a powerful kick to the side of the man's head that crumbles him instantly (three). He doesn't pause in his movements, because he saw the genjutsu of a thousand blades blocking his path forming before the nin even thought of it, and he plunges fearlessly into the barrage, twisting his body so that he's not where the blades will hit. (four, five) He goes over the shoulders of the ninjutsu user, his Chidori crackling in a thin line near the man's neck, under his control (six, seven). The ninjutsu user's head falls off his now decapitated body (eight) at the exact same time that Sasuke lands beside the last illusion-nin (nine), his blade held up against the enemy's neck.(ten)

Ten seconds to put an end to a battle that lasted hours. Sasuke grunts, disgusted with himself. Orochimaru congratulates him on his victory and Sasuke nods in acknowledgment. He's sweaty and pissed off and Kabuto's grinning that knowing smirk. Sasuke growls at him, every frustration suddenly wanting out _now_.

It takes a lot of self-control to turn away from Kabuto but Sasuke manages to restrain himself despite his confused and angry state. He turns on his heel and runs off. He flees through the streets of the village, faster than the wind itself. Orochimaru makes no move to stop him. He knows Sasuke will be back.

Just to spite him, Sasuke wants to go on, not stop at the lake. He wants to go over it and run back to Konoha.

He pulls to a stop inches from the water, breathing hard. He's confused at the strength that came to him so suddenly, not at the thought of Itachi or Naruto, but at the fury he felt at thinking of Ren. Everything hurts and nothing makes sense. He feels like he's in a container again, unable to move or breathe. Unable to take control of his life.

Sasuke slips out of his clothes and walks under the water. He holds himself there until his head feels like it's going to explode, until his lungs burn so fiercely he's fairly sure he will die if he doesn't breathe in _something_.

A hand grabs onto his hair and pulls him to the surface none too gently. Sasuke growls out loud and he's just about to trash Ren, because it has to be Ren who's so intent on saving him but when he turns, he meets not-green eyes.

Actually, he meets one not-green eye. The other is covered by grey-black cloth. Sasuke loses command of his voice and a surprised gasp escaped his lips.

"Kakashi..."

There is so much _feeling_ in that single name that Sasuke immediately attempts to bring his defences back up. The vulnerability that the man in front of him forces him into is too uncomfortable to face, too many memories undealt with, too much raw feeling... something like hope that crushes Sasuke.

Kakashi smiles under his mask, it's a kind grin full of something akin to relief. "You've grown."

Sasuke feels like crying, he feels like running, he feels like latching onto Kakashi and never let go. He shivers, suddenly achingly aware of his nakedness, suddenly ashamed to be exposed so thoroughly. The hand that pulled him out of the water is still in his hair, but it drifts into a caress through the much longer, tamer-looking strands of darkblue, then away.

"It's been two years." Sasuke curses his voice for sounding so weak. He feels shaky, his muscles like jelly, his head full of cotton. He finally breaks away from Kakashi's eye and pulls on his pants. His heart is beating wildly, because Kakashi smells like himself. He smells like a memory. But there's a touch of something else there. Something that's purely Naruto clings to Kakashi.

Sasuke sits on the grass, closes his eyes. He wishes that when he opens them, Kakashi will be gone. He wishes that when he opens them, Naruto will be there. He wishes that when he opens his eyes again, he'll find himself in Konoha, waking from a bad dream. It's so foolish, but Sasuke can't help himself. He gives himself a mental push and fortunately finds that it's enough. It's enough to realise how weak he is right now, how vulnerable and how much he trusts Kakashi still. It's enough to remind himself of why he left in the first place.

"You shouldn't be here, Kakashi."

"Neither should you, Sasuke." Kakashi's voice is soft and serious, his one eye so kind that Sasuke feels cold all over. He shivers.

"I... I have to see this through." The stutter doesn't escape either of them and it gives Sasuke motivation enough to regain control over himself. "I made my choice and you can't change my mind. There is no going back for me."

Kakashi doesn't reply that statement. He sits in front of Sasuke, his one eye serious and tempting. "Let's pretend for a while that you never made that choice, hm? Let's pretend, until I go back to the Leaf and you go back to Sound, that you're still my student and I'm still your teacher."

And Sasuke knows what Kakashi is doing. Kakashi is far too smart. He wants Sasuke to feel the longing, feel the need for companionship again, to feel cared for by someone he trusts. It's an offer. It's a hand held out to show him going back isn't that impossible. Sasuke knows it's a trap for his feelings, he knows it's manipulation in his best interest. But the offer comes at a time when Sasuke can turn no other way. It comes at a time when Sasuke is so confused the only thing he knows for sure is that Itachi's still alive and that's _wrong._ It's the only thing he never loses sight of.

But Ren's devotion, his aniki's memory, Tayuya's need, Naruto's laugh and Orochimaru's pain... it all makes Sasuke feel full to the brink. He feels like he needs to stop thinking in circles, running over the same things over and over again. He feels like he wants to be cradled in Kakashi's arms as he cries to the last tear in his body. Sasuke's fourteen years old and he just wants to stop acting like an adult, like a master, like a lover, a rival, a prodigy, a vessel... He just wants to be for a while. Is that so bad?

"No. It isn't." Kakashi speaks like he's heard every word and when the warm hand rests on Sasuke's shoulder, the pent up feelings leap up, trying to break free. Sasuke ruthlessly pushes them back down, but not before he shudders and gives into the gentle pressure on his shoulder leading him to a strong chest, another arm around him. Before he knows it, Sasuke is drawn into a hug.

Breathing shakily, Sasuke rests his head on Kakashi's shoulder. He thinks maybe Kakashi is holding him a little too tight, a little too close and it occurs to him that he once hurt this man he trusts. That this tentative hug isn't solely for his sake but for Kakashi's as well. And giving comfort isn't really comfortable but it's better than receiving it. So Sasuke brings a hand up and hugs back. He can hear Kakashi's heartbeat where his head leans against the broad chest and Sasuke thinks he's never heard anything more soothing. He thinks it sounds like relief. He thinks it sounds like his father's hand in his hair.

He opens his mouth to say those two words of regrets, those words he's not uttered since his brother tore away the biggest part of his heart. He can already hear himself say it, 'I'm sorry.' But in the end, he shuts his mouth, lips resting back against one another. Is he really sorry for leaving? No. He isn't. It's not something to regret, because you can't change it. Just like wishing Itachi had never done what he did, wishing he'd never left is just foolish. He did it for reasons which still hold. So then why did he even open his mouth in the first place?

Kakashi pets Sasuke's hair affectionately and gives a light tug to its growing length. "Don't think so much, Sasuke. Just enjoy here and now because it's not going to last."

And so it won't. Orochimaru will feel Kakashi around sooner or later. And then they'll force him back to Sound and kill Kakashi.

Sasuke sighs, eyes shut. "I'm so confused, Kakashi. So fucking lost." It's so honest, heartfelt and _true_ that Sasuke can't stand it. A second later, he tears himself away from the older man and swallows carefully, "You have to leave." He wants to say please, but he doesn't. "Don't tell the Dobe."

Rising in turn, Kakashi gives Sasuke one of his proud smiles, the same he had after he told Team 7 they passed the test. "Just remember who you are, Uchiha Sasuke." It feels like faith. Sasuke gives a curt nod and allows himself to blink.

And Kakashi's gone.

Sasuke slumps back down on the forest floor and he just lies there for a while, giving himself some time. He knows what he has to do now.

It's only a few minutes later that Ren finds him. The huge man doesn't say a word, just looks at him with a hint of despair tainting his devotion. It's obvious he wants to reach down and make everything better for Sasuke. But after being refused time and again, after having been made to suffer for this master's entertainment time after time, he just doesn't dare.

Even with the newfound resolve, Sasuke can't allow him to make things better for him, but maybe he can make things better for Ren. For once. He sighs and softly asks, "Will nothing make you turn from me, Ren?"

Wordlessly, the man shakes his head. He removes his coat and drapes it around Sasuke's shoulders, waiting, watching.

"Let's head back." He allows Ren to help him up, allows him to feel useful and needed. They walk back to the village slowly. Ren isn't smiling, but his eyes are more at peace than any other time in the past.

**_tbc..._**

_Some replies:_

_Jenanien: Ya, the Uchiha is full of surprises, but that back there isn't how he fights, exactly. It's his trump card... Hush. You're not supposed to know about it! (grin) Thanks a lot, hun, I can only hope you'll like the rest of what I have in store. (offers popcorn)_

_Shadowbright: I was hoping to pin it right for Sasuke's character. (shakes head) Poor boy. He's really confused about a lot of things. (pets him). I admit, shamefully, that I am writing this for myself. I hardly ever publish anything, so I'm glad you found it worth your time and enjoyed yourself reading. I'll dedicate the oncoming chapter to you, because you made me giggle with glee! _

_XxHunter The One and OnlyxX: Most definitely will! Thanks! In all truthfulness, the main part of this story is already done. It needs a little correcting and a little shaping up, but it's mostly done. Yay!_

_SharinganSasuke: Thanks for the comment, hun. Hope you enjoy the rest of it._


	8. Chapter 7

_A/N: Mostly introspective chapter, but there are naughty bits of Tayuya! Be warned! Also, dedicated to ShadowBright, because I can._

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 7**

Sasuke makes a list of things he needs to think on. Kakashi's parting comment reminds him that Uchiha Sasuke is no fucking coward who'll wince at sensitive subjects. It reminds him that Uchiha Sasuke is an avenger, that he prones justice above all, if only his own kind of justice. It reminds him Uchiha Sasuke bows to no one. It reminds him that Uchihas are never needlessly cruel. It reminds him that Uchiha Sasuke has honor and a reason to be proud of his skills. It reminds him that despite the pain, despite the loss and despite taking a step in the wrong direction and even despite making mistakes, Uchiha Sasuke always trusts himself above all.

The first thing on the list is Naruto, next is Ren. Orochimaru comes afterwards, along with the subject Sasuke's avoided most fiercely of all, the taking over of his body. The last on the list is, of course, Itachi. Sasuke puts him last even though he should be first because he figures he's already done a fair bit of thinking on Itachi over the years.

Ren in toe, Sasuke walks inside his chambers. He notices the blanket on the floor at the foot of the bed where he's made Ren sleep for the last couple of months and gives a sigh, something like shame curling uncomfortably in his gut. He bends and picks up the blanket, throwing it on the bed itself. He watches Ren take in the implications and possibilities, watches the green eyes widden in surprise. "Don't read too much into it. Sleep. I'm going to Orochimaru."

And that's a lie if Sasuke's ever spoken one. He has no intentions of seeing the snake tonight, not after what happened with Kakashi. He's not sure the sannin won't be able to smell Kakashi's influence on him. So when Sasuke leaves, he goes in the opposite direction from Orochimaru's quarters, through the intricate tunnels, to Tayuya's room. He doesn't bother to knock, just walks in on her in the shower and announces, "I'm taking your bed, shut your mouth." Because he can't go anywhere else in the village unwatched and because he won't be allowed to leave Sound in a huff twice in a day.

Tayuya thankfully just gives him an odd look and slams the shower door closed, nearly taking one of Sasuke's fingers with it. He growls out a warning, but leaves readily enough. He slides under her bed, staring at the mattress above him.

He wishes Nagraji were here. It's been too long since he last saw the snake and he ponders summoning it. He rejects the idea almost as soon as it formed. Uchiha Sasuke will not need help for this simple enough reflexion.

Sasuke organises his thoughts, sets his breathing and heart to rest, then he closes his eyes. The names fill in slowly, Naruto's on top of the list.

Okay. Figure out the problem about Naruto. Easy.

Or not. It's almost a trained reaction to bar thoughts of Naruto's company now. It's a visible effort to bring them back and the cost is high. Sasuke finds himself drowning in laughter, smiles and heartache. Naruto's emotional strength is what Sasuke always comes back to. So lonely, they both are.

Were. Naruto has friends now. The loneliness is far behind him. Naruto has filled it with friends who care about him. The flash of jealousy is unmistakable and Sasuke grinds his teeth against it. Chances are he doesn't even remember what it feels like to be alone. There should be nothing special about him anymore.

But Naruto thinks he loves Sasuke. Naruto thinks he needs Sasuke. There's something so horribly wrong about that, because it feels real.

It's not like Sakura's pleading need, it's not Ren's constant protection, it's tried and true and Naruto _would_ give his life for Sasuke. He thinks Sasuke is worth it. And it doesn't feel like he's lying. Naruto loves that Sasuke's silence says all he needs to hear, even if he'll complain about it. He loves that their fighting proves how much they need one another. He loves Sasuke for Sasuke, for his bitterness and his intelligence, for his strengths and his weaknesses, his arrogance and vulnerability. It feels nothing like a child's crush. It doesn't seem like things they should known to feel at their age.

And it scared Sasuke halfway across the world, literally.

A frown brings Sasuke's brows together, thinking about how much of his decision to come here was based on fear. Sasuke's entire existence is based on becoming the best, overcoming adversity to _win_. He can't admit to an equal strength. He can't admit defeat. He simply cannot admit that someone will always beat him no matter what. He won't give into the thought that there's something Uchiha Sasuke can't overcome. Because the greatest test of all is Itachi. And if he can't even be consistently strong, how the hell is he supposed to beat the best? Giving in to Naruto is giving in to Itachi. Telling Naruto he's an equal, telling him 'you have the possibility of beating me' is the same as telling himself he'll never be strong enough for Itachi.

Sasuke knows it's unfair to Naruto. He knows that Naruto needs, thrives on this acknowledgment. He knows Naruto's always needed it from him. But to accept being defeated goes against the very foundation of who Sasuke _is_. The will to become better, the drive to do so, it all stems from this center-point in Sasuke's being that refuses to be tamed.

Tayuya comes back in the room, dripping wet and naked. She knows he's under the bed and gives a snort but doesn't comment otherwise. She just lies down on the mattress and promptly pretends to sleep.

Sasuke thinks back to that moment at Valley's End. The first time his eyes locked with Naruto's and they both recognized that neither of them could admit defeat. Even if he could, Sasuke wouldn't change that part of himself. No matter the amount of pain it caused him and Naruto. He can't see himself submitting to someone. His mind throws a mental barrier at the very thought.

He wonders if it's the same for Naruto. Of course the dobe can't admit defeat. It goes against his nature to give up on anything. It's this childlike notion that if you try hard enough, you can make anything happen. It's a child's perception that if you try hard enough, you'll never lose anything precious, always get what you really want. It's the vision of someone who has always needed but never lost.

And it's an amazing source of strength. Distantly, Sasuke wonders whether Naruto's grown up at all. Whether losing his best friend made him realise that you have to let go, some times. Shaking his head slightly, Sasuke realises two things. One, he's not one to talk about letting go of things, and two, of course Naruto hasn't. He won't give up on Sasuke, because it's the one fight he should have won. And he'll just keep trying and trying.

The hint of fondness that burgeons in Sasuke's gut at that thought makes him squirm a little. What if somehow they stop _needing_ to dominate one another. What then? The memory of blue eyes flashes and Sasuke shuts his eyes, letting himself remember his best friend. Tch. The dobe. Warmth like Sasuke's hardly ever known envelops him and he thinks Naruto shouldn't be able to do this to him from miles and years away.

_That's why it feels real. _It makes sense now, why he was so scared of this. It's real. It's here. And now miles away, years away, Sasuke finally realizes that he can't avoid it. He can't give into it, because he can't have relief yet. He hasn't given his brother's soul some rest.

But it's inevitable. Naruto will always be part of his thoughts, just like he'll be part of Naruto's. They've both left too deep a mark on the other.

Tayuya makes a growling noise, it sounds almost vulnerable. Sasuke knows she's not asleep and merely trying to get his attention. He punches the mattress up where her ass should be and smirks at the barrage of expletives she lets out. The girl has the most vivid imagination when it comes to cursing his name. Sasuke tries not to remember the the tone of voice she uses to curse him when they're having sex.

She settles back into a rest, on top of him and enjoying it but Sasuke ignores her presence. She just brought on another question concerning Naruto. Sasuke likes women. He's cold to most, but there's no denying the fact that Tayuya's curves, her breasts and hips and long legs do something for Sasuke. There's no denying he loves sex with girls. The warmth and the feel of someone's softer, weaker body submitting to his, moaning under him.

Sex is a somewhat recent interest. He was a precocious teen, but not that precocious. He'd had very few partners in Konoha, back when he was twelve, and only twice did they go all the way (the first being a horribly embarassing memory of fumbling and awkwardness). It's always been quite a hassle to keep his identity secret from the person he's having sex with.

It occurs to Sasuke that what he has with Tayuya isn't purely based on sex. It's actually a battle of wills and an all-out fight, if not a war. It makes Sasuke sigh as he remembers the tales of his mother, of romantic endings and sweet lovemaking. Sex has never been anything but angry and passionate for Sasuke. It's been his way of winning over stronger opponents. His way of getting what he wants. It's never just _been_ for its own sake.

He figures he's not the best lover in the world, but Sasuke is very precocious and he learns very, very quickly. He's far from _bad_ at it. And he does enjoy the act for its own sake. He wonders how it would feel if he loved his partner. How it would be if it were soft, gentle and caring.

He's never really thought of sex with a man. He's used elements of it to subdue too-fucking-strong enemies, but that's not even sex. It's a battle tactic. Sasuke's proved that to Ren when he first came to Sound.

Sex between men seems so much more violent. It will always be a battle and Sasuke does not want that with Naruto.

Rolling to his side, Sasuke looks at his outstretched arms. The one on the floor rests there, too-white flesh growing goosebumps at the cool rocky ground. His fingers are curled up and the middle digit is tracing from the meaty part of his thumb to the center of the palm in soothing motions. Sasuke's other hand raises and draws patterns from the wrist, over the warm pulse of blood under the skin, and caresses up his forearm. The painted nails lightly scratch the flesh, soothing quickly with firm strokes of dry, soft fingers. All of it is mesmerizingly slow, like an artist drawing his masterpiece on his most prized canvas.

Sasuke shudders. His fingers never pause. He thinks being cherished feels sinful. It feels like need and he can't stop.

It reminds him of Ren. It reminds him of having the large man over him, begging him not to hurt himself. It reminds him of Sakura's tears when she begged to come along. Sasuke feels dirty and betrayed. His fingers dig into the flesh of his arm and squeeze. He knows he'll be bruised and that's okay. It's better than feeling like this.

In his mind, he reviews every moment of Ren's devotion. He thinks back to all the times Ren protected him, all the times he shook under Sasuke's glare, all the times he would give Sasuke some of his own meal, some of his warmth, his bulk, his love, when he would help an exhausted Sasuke to his quarters and beg to take care of him.

Ren feels like Itachi did. His presence is so warm, so comforting... It's not like Naruto's honest and shocking warmth. Ren feels like slipping back into his old habit of depending on Itachi to help, to love, to be there for him. Ren feels like well-used, old slippers that are always the most comfortable piece of clothing, despite their tattered state.

All of Sasuke's anger and cruelty towards him explains itself. Ren isn't Itachi, but he feels like it. The anger is misguided. Sasuke knows that, he's always known that. He has to stop it.

He has to send Ren away.

He feels an unexpected sense of loss at that thought. All at once, Sasuke knows he's going to miss _Ren_, and not Itachi. And that's something that finally feels good and right.

Sasuke's fingers slowly relax on his arm, leaving four indents on the otherwise perfectly smooth flesh of his forearm. His eyes follow the trail of discolored skin promising bruises and he waits for the pain. It comes a little while later in slow waves and Sasuke realizes that he's drawn blood. His nails aren't cropped as short as he'd kept them in Konoha. And they're a bitch to paint.

Orochimaru gets pissy when Sasuke is injured. It's the promise of time spent with Kabuto, so Sasuke tries to avoid even the lightest scrapes and bruises. The snake doesn't let Sasuke out on missions, just trains him obsessively, trying to cram all the knowledge inside the boy's mind.

Strangely enough, the curse seal hasn't been a big part of things so far and considering it's been nearly two years, Sasuke wonders why the man even bothered to put one on him.

The three commas remind him of the Sharingan. It's fitting and it's beautiful but Sasuke has come to a realisation about the power it grants. There's still an ache on his back from where the wings forced themselves out of his skin. Sometimes, when the night's darker than the constant dark of Sound village, Sasuke can't sleep for the pain. He wonders if his bones and muscles were permanently rearranged to accomodate the wings. That thought makes him angry, it makes him sad and angry because this _thing_ on him isn't his. It's not in his blood, it's not in his mind. It's an intruder, like the Kyuubi. He refuses to use it.

Sasuke's done a good job of not thinking about the curse seal and not thinking about why Orochimaru never wants him injured. At least there's one good thing that comes out of those two elements combined. Orochimaru wouldn't take over a body so damaged by the curse seal that it's unusable. The curse seal can't be this bad if Orochimaru thinks he wants to have one on his new body.

To give his body up to the snake is one thing Sasuke doesn't even consider. It's what Orochimaru is working towards, it's why everyone around Sound stays a respectful distance from him but somehow, Sasuke's managed to not even consider the possibility that it might actually happen. And that's wrong. Because there's _work_ to be done if he's going to avoid the fate. Sasuke has to think it through and through and over and over again. He has to know everything about it. He has to know how Orochimaru does it, he has to learn about the previous vessels and _why_ just three years and how is he going to beat the Sannin at his own game?

The weight of the task suddenly has Sasuke breathless with apprehension (_notfear_). It's so _huge_ it's almost inconceivable. That Sasuke, a fourteen year-old cursed genin could outthink, overpower and defeat the man who killed the Hokage, that undeniable force of will who controls all of Sound, the twisted being who _has_ led Sasuke into that false sense of security for two years now.

_Fuck, Kakashi, what the hell am I supposed to **do**_?

Tayuya plunges a knife through her mattress and Sasuke sees the tip coming down on him. It stops an inch from his eye after piercing the wooden base of the bed. "Stop fucking thinking so loud you ice-dicked fuckhead! I can't sleep!"

Still frozen on his last thought, Sasuke can't think of a quick come back. In anger, he grabs the end of the blade and focuses on bringing Kabuto's teachings to mind, sending wires of Chakra up the knife like Kabuto does in people's blood vessels, invisible until they wrap around Tayuya's hand still holding the weapon. She swears at him when she feels them, but it's too late and she knows it. She did not expect him to mimick Kabuto of all people. Sasuke pulls at the chakra strings and sends them further up around her body, his focus entirely on trapping her before she thinks of some way around the technique. She nearly manages to summon a spirit before Sasuke finishes tying her. In the end, she's strapped to the bed by invisible chakra strings, her full lips still spilling curses and insults to make the hardest nin blush.

Sasuke grunts as he gives up his comfortable spot under the bed and climbs out. Naked, tied and furious Tayuya is not a sight to be underestimated. But because Sasuke was interrupted at a crucial point, because he's still angry at Tayuya's pointy knife, he's not going to let that sight sway him from at least a minor revenge. A sadistic smirk curves his lips and it's enough for Tayuya to pause in her bitching and take in the dangerous aura that surrounds him.

Her being practically radiates that '_Oh shit_' feeling.

"Indeed." Knowing what Tayuya is thinking is never really a challenge. Sasuke walks to her closet and looks at the clothes there. He takes everything baggy and unrevealing out of the closet, even the Sound uniform with that ridiculous purple bow. He puts them all in a pile, leaving only in the closet some rare dresses, tight shorts and too small shirts. He does the same to every drawer in the room until Tayuya has no clothing left to hide her figure under. She glares at him for the first two minutes of this charade, then starts to trash around in her bonds, threatening all sorts of bodily harm to him.

Sasuke knows how hard it'll be for Tayuya to make it whole outside of her rooms and to the stores in a skimpy little outfit. He knows the men out there will be wolves and she'll have barely enough strength to make it. Sasuke knows how she hates to be sexy and he knows she's probably going to make good on at least some of those threats but he _is_ being good and trying to channel his anger into something that doesn't involve physical punishment.

So he forms a minor Katon jutsu under her suddenly pleading gaze and panic-stricken voice and mercilessly burns every last piece of clothing. She seems to be dumbly silent for a few seconds, staring at the charred remains of her clothes, then she settles on him the most furious glare Sasuke has ever seen on her.

He smirks to himself and ignores it. She is quite powerless right now, so she can do all the glaring she wants. Sasuke walks over to her on the bed, expertly avoiding teeth and nails that somehow manage to reach out for him despite their bonds. He bends over her vulnerably naked body and kisses one of her pert nipples, teeth lightly grazing its hardening peak. She stops squirming and bites her lip, determined to _not_ moan. Trailing suckles and kisses down her bound side, Sasuke lets his fingers caress up her thigh and between her legs.

Helpless and pissed off Tayuya is definitely not something Sasuke will waste.

**_tbc..._**

_Some replies: _

_Midnight Velvet: (pets Sasuke) Yeah... all those kids are forced to grow real fast, but they're still kids, yah? I'm glad you enjoyed it because it was my personal favorite. The vulnerability that we can finally glimpse in Sasuke was very beautiful to me. Oh and Kakashi, f'course. (waves Kakashi!rules flag)_

_Jenanien: Ren is kinda fucked up in the head. I wanted to just glimpse the enormity of his fucked-up-ness through Sasuke's POV. But he's fairly screwed up. (with reasons I will eventually explore). (whispers) I never thought I could write Kakashi at all. So happy that was a hit! Yay! (hands over Kakashi doll) (adds Sasuke doll) And now you have a pair. Whatcha gonna do with'em? (grin)_

_XxHunter The One and OnlyxX: Lol, short and sweet! Thankee!_


	9. Chapter 8

_A/N: Okay. I just added some touch ups to this chapter and it stunned me silly. So I haven't re-read it. Please bear with me._

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 8**

When Sasuke returns to his rooms much, much later, he positively reeks of sex. He's built the habit of letting Ren know, making him smell and know he'll never get anything similar. It makes the boy sigh as he thinks back to how childish he's behaved with Ren. There's the undeniable urge to amend for it. So the first thing Sasuke does is sneak quietly into the shower, careful not to wake the Snow-nin.

He turns the faucet, setting the water just a notch too hot. His thoughts wander over to Ren as he lets himself soak.

It feels odd and so utterly wrong to him that he never asked to know what the snow-nin can do. Ren is obviously a very strong ninja and surely there's some techniques he can pick up from him. And where does Ren come from? Who trained him? Why is he so desperately seeking pain? All those questions storm Sasuke's mind as he washes up, cleans out the scent of Tayuya from him.

Sometimes Sasuke feels as though the emotional pain he inflicts on Ren is precisely what makes the nin stay with him. He wonders how far the masochistic instinct to suffer for love goes in Ren, and if he treated the nin better, would he leave? Would he be scared at suddenly feeling worthy of being treated well? Would he need to be treated like a dog by a different master or has he truly adopted Sasuke as his?

His eyes fall shut as the memories overtake him. First the feeling of utter helplessness, the paralysing fear...

_flashback_

_"The little brat's finally gotten what was comin' at'im, didn't he?"_

A vulgar and deeply unpleasant voice. The man who speaks large and sneering.

_"Orochimaru-sama had you take a little trip down memory lane, huh? Come on, sweetheart, dontcha wanna make new memories with me?"_

A hand, long, thin fingers that look crooked in the dim light of the cell.

_"Remember, luv? Remember that first time? Mmm... still get the shivers just thinkin' about it. Too bad I didn't have permission t'take things further... you wanted it, didn't you, luv?"_

The memory of being unable to see. The wire biting into his fragile eyelids. All of his instincts on edge and screaming escape. And then...

No. More.

The voice is dead, the fingers attached to the voice are too, and there's Ren. He's shaking with anger and his growl is animalistic as he wrenches the knife out of the dead man.

_"Sasuke... My master... He will never sully your name again. You won't have to suffer his presence for another second." _

The need in Ren's voice, so raw.

_"No one will harm you, that I swear."_

And his own response, still shocked and angry as always.

_"No one asked for your fucking protection, Ren. Don't grow as insufferable as he was."_

_end_

Thinking back to that incident, Sasuke's hard-pressed to keep from shuddering. It was just a few weeks ago he saw again one of the bastards. The ones who tormented him when he first came into Sound. The ones who took advantage of his forced blindness.

The man's name seems irrelevant, considering that he's dead and was never worth knowing anyway. But Sasuke remembers the warmth he felt when Ren stepped up to defend him. He remembers fighting against it with all he had because Sasuke Uchiha doesn't need to be protected.

But it felt warm. It felt soft and soothing and so achingly comforting.

_How would it feel, really... _

Sasuke opens his eyes and swallows against the _notfear_ that flashes at the very clear thought. He leans his head against the dark tile, giving a quick snort to the fact that it's black tile and semen would look so obvious on it. The water is running down smooth muscle, beating, drumming against the pale flesh of Sasuke's back, ass and thighs.

_How would it feel to be in love with him?_

A growl comes out of Sasuke's lips before he can prevent it and he speaks aloud, trying to dispell the thought, "It'd be excrutiating. Shut up." Fortunately, his inner conscience seems inclined to listen to him. His eyes close again and the boy slides down the shower wall until he's sitting under the spray. He focuses on the feeling of now. The pleasantly tired muscles pounded into relaxation under the water, the drowsiness that comes with the need for sleep, his mind swimming just a little into nothingness.

Time goes by too damn fast. Just a little while ago, he was in Konoha with Naruto and Sakura and Kakashi, and just a little before that, he had a brother, a father and mother. He had family. It's been so little time since he left. Barely a few hours it seems at times. There's so little time left until he dies.

For perhaps the first time, Sasuke understands what truly drives Orochimaru. That need to learn everything before giving up life. The need to _not_ give up life, not give up learning, growing. In two years, Sasuke has learned much about power, but it's not nearly enough to permit him to face the Sannin. It's just not enough. How could he catch up to a lifetime's worth of learning?

The boy feels the urgency. A year is all he has left to plan the downfall of one of the most brilliant ninjas the world has ever known. How in the hell is he supposed to work that miracle? Sasuke couldn't even stand up to his brother after four years of intensely training for it. He'd been just a pawn, just some _thing_ that doesn't really deserve attention.

The pain and humiliation from that meeting has the Sharingan flashing dangerously, Sasuke's teeth grinding together and his fists clenching tightly. _There is nothing in the world that will stop me from killing him. Not Ren, not Naruto, not Kakashi and certainly not Orochimaru. Uchiha Sasuke bows to **no one.**_

His renewed determination brings Sasuke his confidence back and he straightens up, turns off the water. He's about to walk naked in the room where Ren is undoubtedly waiting, another bad habit he'd picked up to make the man squirm. Having firmly decided to send the man away _kindly_, Sasuke wraps a towel around his hips, unaware of how much more appealing that makes him look. The dark (of course) and thick cloth barely holds onto slim hips, putting more emphasis on the forms of Sasuke's body, bringing out the muscles and skin tone, enhancing the dark eyes and dark hair. He shakes his head to get some water out of his hair and then throws it back so it falls wetly on his broadening shoulders. The hair is much, much too long. It will have to go. Sasuke is starting to look too much like Itachi to permit himself long hair.

As a matter of fact, it can go right now. On a sudden whim, Sasuke opens his bathroom drawers and frowns when he's unable to find simple scissors. He does find a very sharp kunai though.

Taking hold of as much hair as he can, Sasuke brings it up, ponytail-like, and with his other hand, starts to cut into the thick braid. For a second, it feels like it won't give. It feels like Sasuke can't even take control of his own goddamn hairstyle. Then it gives all at once and Sasuke's left with a fistful of so-black hair it looks blue. He absently drops it to the floor and repeats the process until his hair is back to its original length. Already starting to dry, Sasuke can see the back of his new/old hairstyle starting to raise on its own.

The weight of long hair had previously tugged down the naturally unruly and untamed strands. Sasuke feels much more like himself. He looks at his nails and ponders removing the black paint. The main problem is that Sasuke likes the look. He even likes spending the time to do them up. It's an exercice in ambidextery.

_Or you could just enjoy spending some time on yourself._

That thought gets a not-so quiet snort from Sasuke and he decides to go for a compromise. He spends a good ten minutes sitting on the toilet seat removing the black nail polish and instead putting on the deep blue that looks the same shade as the fallen hair strewn all around.

_Are you quite done being girly, pretty boy?_ Sasuke frowns to himself at that, wondering when exactly his inner voice started sounding like Naruto again. He shakes off the thought just like he shakes off the remaining hairs on his shoulders and back, then looks at himself in the miror to take a look at his recent change.

It occurs to him that he hasn't done that with purpose in a long, long time. Sasuke looks at himself in the miror and takes stock of all the things that have changed not in a few minutes, but in the two years he hasn't dared look at himself.

His eyes are darker than they were before, they hold something like maturity and added depth of thought. If anything, they're more piercing and analytic than ever before. The hair frames a face that grew from its more rounded baby-shape to that of a young man. A sharp jawline is drawing itself, enhancing his mouth which has grown more sensual over the years, the lips still thin but a little fuller, the contours more defined. His nose points a little up in its usual distinguished fashion. The skin is pure and unmarked. It looks even whiter than it did before. Sasuke distantly thinks spending two years underground will do that to someone. But it makes the contrast of his long, arched brows much more striking.

His overall impression of himself is a mix between beautiful and deadly. Sasuke, finally content with his appearance, with his reflexions and confidence and plans, returns to his room to wake Ren.

The place feels suspiciously empty and it immediately has Sasuke on his guard despite the fact that no one here would even try to harm him for fear of Orochimaru. It's pitch black and for a moment, Sasuke's fairly sure he's trapped in a Genjutsu of some sort because this doesn't feel like his room. Taking a silent step further out of the doorway, Sasuke refuses to breathe until he's reached the exit. His instincts are always right and this feels like danger.

Ren seems to have vanished into thin air and that's what causes the Sharingan to come to life in Sasuke's gaze. Immediately, he sees what's coming. His eyes see the movements of the air around him, he can see the cool breeze condensing on his skin, he can feel the unnatural, summoned cold and it makes him work very hard to contain a shiver. Sasuke backs away from the cloud of freezing air moving to trap him and into the bathroom door. "Ren?"

A softly broken voice answers him, "Why?" Ren is under the bed, in Sasuke's spot. Sharingan eyes focus on the fingers that are gripping the bottom of the bedframe so tight it might break. It's so odd to feel danger coming from Ren, but at the same time, it's so fucking familiar. Like an old 'I told you so' from his mother.

Anger takes him over before he can even think his way through this, "What the hell are you playing at, Ren?" His Sharingan sees the shape of the snow-nin uncurl from under the bed.

When Sasuke sees the look on Ren's face, he freezes in shock and memory. He can only see the so-cold and distant look on the face of the man who promised to love and cherish him. The beast of fear inside Sasuke wreaks havoc, tearing away the controls over his body. The boy can't move because if he looks down, he's going to see two bodies, one curled protectively over the other. He's going to see his parents there. He's going to see Naruto and Sakura there. The paralysis doesn't let up as Ren/Itachi comes closer. Sasuke anticipates the blow, even though this time he doesn't run to it. He anticipates the last, fullest betrayal.

When it comes, it's not in the same form as he expected it. The snow-nin backs the unresisting Sasuke up against the wall and grabs a hold of his wrists, pinning them above his head. He murmurs for Sasuke's ears only, "Why do you keep me leashed to you if you hate me so? Why? Why must I love you so much?" His lips latch onto Sasuke's neck for a short taste before he continues, "Won't you give me back my freedom? Won't you love me, even just a little? Please, please be mine..."

When the lips close again on his neck, warm wetness and worship, it shocks Sasuke out of his memory-induced trance and he regains enough control over himself to struggle into the man's grasp. He knows he can break free. He just can't do it fast enough.

"Please let me win, just once, let me win over your will, my master." Sasuke feels the man's breath over his lips. It smells of need and spices. He can feel the man's free hand tracing down his stomach, over the muscles straining against the hold. He can see the fingers roaming down his back, tracing the arched curve of his spine. Warm, dry digits slide over damp skin and tug away the towel. Sasuke is pinned between the man's considerable strength and the unforgiving wall of rock. His wrists twist in the large hand and he can almost feel it give. Just a little more...

The betraying hand caresses lower still and when the fingers reach that so vulnerably spot, Sasuke's mind blanks out. He lets out a pained whimper and it's enough to snap Ren out of his desire and make him realise just what exactly he's been doing to his master.

It's too little, too late. Sasuke's gotten a hold of his fury in that split second and with a growl of pure betrayal and pain, he looks up at Ren, his eyes flashing the unusual red of the Mangekyou Sharingan. The clumsy and instinctive reach for the ability has Sasuke using its power with so little control and so much fear that he tears into Ren's mind, uncaring of anything but making the man let go. It takes all of two seconds before Ren is crumbling to the floor, twitching randomly, eyes wide open and staring at nothingness.

Stunned to near catatony, Sasuke just stares at him. His entire body is shaking in reaction and Ren is drooling dumbly on the floor and _why_ the hell would he do this?

_You know why. You made him do it. You pushed him too far._

The horror of blame comes crashing down on Sasuke and he looks at Ren, betrayed, twisted, hurt. The man is still convulsing on the floor, but his eyes are searching for Sasuke's. Through the twitches and the slow descent into unconsciousness, the man looks at Sasuke and mouths 'I love you.'

It's the most unspeakably horrfying thing Sasuke's ever heard.

"Tsk. What a mess you've made, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke doesn't register that voice. He's still staring at Ren, shivers going through his frame.

Orochimaru is _very_ careful not to look Sasuke in the eye as he grabs a hold of the young man and pulls him to his feet. "Come. We have much work to do."

_tbc..._

_Some replies:_

_Shadowbright: I love Kakashi... would've even made this Kakasasu if they'd let me. But they both insist on something 'platonic' whatever that is. (grin) And I hope you'll like this update, no matter how short it is, because I enjoy your comments soooo much. Hee!_

_Jenanien: What to do with Kakashi/Sasuke dolls? Ha! Need I even ask? Lol! Oh yeah I brought Tayuya from the dead because... erm... I dislike OFC. (snort) And it is most definitely AU. (points up) Yeah. Quite. Hope you enjoyed!_


	10. Chapter 9

_A/N: This will be the last chapter located in Sound as such. Sasuke, at this point in time, has just reached fifteen years old. _

**The Sound of Fear: Chapter 9**

Sasuke never knew exactly what happened to Ren after that night. He's not sure if the man is braindead, scared to face him or prisonner in some deeper parts of the dungeons. Some part of him wants to care about the man's fate, the other part denies that he needs to get involved in something so dangerous again. That terrible night and the deepset guilt that Sasuke feels are firmly put in a box and locked away. Because Uchiha Sasuke won't be broken. Uchiha Sasuke has survived through too much goddamn shit to be brought down, to even be distracted from his goal. So fuck obsessive, Itachi-like ninjas, fuck too-kind, one-eyed teachers and fuck Naturo too.

Itachi can't be allowed to live. Every second more he breathes is an insult to the dead, an insult to justice. Itachi's betrayal, his self-absorption, his cruelty and ego have made him into something that's not quite human anymore. Itachi isn't Sasuke's big brother. He's a murderer. He lacks the basic human quality of a conscience to go along with his intellect. He's a psychopath. He never loved Sasuke, he never loved his mother and father. He was born with parts of him missing.

So what if he'd comforted his little brother time after time? So what if he'd smiled with true (_false_) feeling at his brother? So what if he'd felt warm and safe and close?

So what if Sasuke had loved him?

All it does is make things worse. All love does is make things hurt. Unlike Ren, Sasuke is no masochist. Sometimes you have to cut off part of yourself, push it back and make it not matter anymore. Otherwise it drags you down with pain and hurt and _love_. Sasuke did it with Itachi first, then Konoha and Naruto, and now with Ren.

In the end it's purely a matter of survival.

Sasuke wonders if he could remember how it feels to cry. He wonders if some day, he's going to have too many tears he forced back. Too much sorrow to shed over himself and others that he hasn't let out. He thinks so, because that night when Ren betrayed him, Sasuke had needed to cry. He'd needed to cry for himself and Ren, but not just that. He needed to cry for his parents and Tayuya and Naruto and the blond-girl in the coffin. It felt like a dam about to break. Then Orochimaru saved him.

The snake became a fucking savior in his cruelty. It was like a very hard slap that propelled him back into himself. Sasuke comes to the conclusion that some day, he's going to let go and just cry. But that moment in time will not come until he's killed Itachi. Until that time, Sasuke's entire life is put on hold.

For the moment, most of his free time is focused on learning about the curse seal and the mind-transfer technique. Nagraji is a great source of information on that side. What little time is left is used to force his mind to work on personal techniques Orochimaru doesn't know about (only because he's thankfully unable to read minds) and the Mangekyou. Even now, months after the shock wore off, Sasuke still doesn't understand how it manifested itself while Naruto is still alive. He doesn't understand why it did against Ren and not against Itachi. He doesn't understand how Ren could have used the last of his energy to mouth a lie...

There's a lot Sasuke just doesn't understand.

But there are things that he knows. He knows he's wanted Naruto dead, once. No matter how much the thought pains him now, it doesn't change that fact. He knows the Mangekyou is extremely powerful and that Orochimaru is right to be scared of it. He knows it adds another depth to every technique he performs now and at least he can now understand how Itachi beat him so effortlessly before. His Katon techniques feel easier, like breathing and Sasuke remembers being asked about black fire by Tsunade.

He dreams of it now. Activating the dormant mangekyou has oppened so many doors for Sasuke that his mind is still reeling.

Sasuke knows that a beast of fear, guided by the mangekyou, is a terrifying concept. He knows that technique of his is veryfucking dangerous. It is after all a beast made of feeling and chakra. What surprises Sasuke is that the wolf doesn't require a lot of Chakra to stay alive. It requires a lot of feeling in its master, but the chakra use is really just a light breeze to animate the already present feeling. It doesn't bring it to life, per se, just gives it enough of a tangible body to move. It's like creating spirits.

Tayuya told him about that in one of her unguarded moments. It's what first brought on the idea of the wolf. The girl explained to him that summoning spirits is just a matter of connecting with the intangible and giving it shape. She said it's one of the least and the most demanding shinobi arts. It requires the precision and strength of will to keep a hold on the summons, but they're basically independant, chakra-wise.

It makes Sasuke wonder if his beast of fear could ever break away from him and cause havock on its own. Spirits sometimes do. Rejecting that thought firmly, Sasuke reminds himself that the wolf's life, what it feeds on is its master's weakness, his fears. It's ironic that a beast made of someone's weakest point should be so damn powerful. It's ironic that Sasuke, who thought he couldn't admit to weakness, can channel so much fear into forming an actual being. He wonders if being happy would nullify the technique. That thought is dismissed very quickly. There will always be enough memories in Sasuke's mind to scare him badly enough.

Just in case, Sasuke wonders if he could make a beast of fury. He wonders if he could channel all of his anger at the world, at his brother, Ren, Naruto and Orochimaru into a fiery black lion. Or whether he could create a deep purple beast of pain from all of his anguish and boxed up hurt. The mangekyou tells him he could.

For the first time, the thought of slaying the legendary snake sannin doesn't sound completely impossible for a fifteen year old genin to do. It'll require more than just a couple of fancy new techniques to do it, but Sasuke thinks, _knows_ that in the right time, with the right handicaps on Orochimaru and the right advantages for him, he can do it. He's going to need the element of surprise and a weakened Sannin, but it'll work.

Fighting the other nins around Sound is already starting to be sort of useless. Sasuke stills picks up the occasional technique or two by letting them attack first, but even the first stage of the Sharingan seems enhanced with the Mangekyou and it's that ten seconds fight all over again.

Sasuke hasn't slacked off on his physical training either, building up his stamina to keep up the speed he's capable of. He works on his muscle capacity, the ability to transform his speed into strength and power. He's grown a little larger around the shoulders, but they're remaining slim and tight, like most every part of his body. He's not a mass of corded muscle, he's tall and thin and hard. His build does not betray his power. As a matter of fact, many nins would think him physically weaker than he really is because there is no bulk, no built up muscle. Sasuke is all lines, proportions and speed.

The curse seal is another problem though. He feels as though the seal would demand to be used everytime he fights if it weren't for Kakashi's protection around it. He's seen the other nins activating theirs far too often for his liking. Those fights still present a challenge.

The seal eats away at a person's soul. It gives power, almost limitless, in exchange for everything that makes a person alive. It's a pact with the devil, inflicted upon people with enough pain to give in. Sasuke wonders if he ever mattered so little to himself that he sold himself to a demon for the power to kill his brother. His surroundings reflect the sad truth of it and even through the sadness it inspires, Sasuke still doesn't regret that choice. If a goddamn curse seal helps him kill Itachi, then good. That doesn't mean, however, that Sasuke is willing to give more to the devil than strictly necessary.

The boy is pacing in a large room, waiting to be taken to the Sannin for another day of training. The carpeted floor is a rich dark red and Sasuke's sandals don't cover enough of his feet to prevent him from feeling its pelt. It tickles as he walks, but he's been here often enough that it's easy to ignore. There are many mirors in Sound, but almost every surface of this room is covered with crystal reflections. It reminds him of Haku and that leads back to Naruto. Now Sasuke has given up being chidish about blocking memories of Naruto, but this is neither the place or time to remember the soft, teary look of pure _relief_ on the blond ninja at seeng him rise. It certainly is not the right time to feel a pang of longing for the arms that cushioned his fall and definitely not the place to be missing Naruto's smile and his silly 'dattebayo'.

Sasuke sits on the blue cushions in the corner of the room. He picks at his sleeves and rearranges his clothing absently. He had, for a time, adopted the Sound uniform. But really... the purple bow serves no purpose but a decorative one and it does that very badly. Also, the light colors of the top give Sasuke the impression that he would see someone coming from a mile away in one of these. That he never sees Orochimaru coming is irrelevant. He just doesn't like its obviousness. It's nothing like bright orange, mind you, but still pretty bad in Sasuke's mind.

He's reverted back to a somewhat modified version of his black outfit. When working on camouflage, the pale skin of Sasuke's arms and legs flashes like a beacon in contrast to the black. So his clothing now covers every part of his body black, and it's tight enough that the material never accidentally scrapes something that Sasuke's body wouldn't. It's made for purely practical reasons, but no one is unaware of the fact that it enhances the boy's build and shows off his every asset. Sasuke himself thinks that detail irrelevant.

He's adopted a wolf-mask for training and generally wandering around, the porcelain finely crafted and painted black by the very best in Sound. He covers from his neck to his mouth with the same tight cloth than Kakashi does. Sasuke doesn't like his face to be seen around Sound. He doesn't want to be noticed and the mask serves only that purpose. The plain truth of it is that Sasuke very much dislikes having to wear one. The entire outfit is only a few weeks old and Sasuke is still adjusting to having his face covered. It fortunately fits him well enough that he doesn't have any additional blind spots, but the weight is different, and breathing through cloth permanently is _hard_. There's definitely growing respect for Kakashi on that aspect.

When Sasuke is fully dressed, the only spot of white on him is in his eyes, and he's not willing to risk affecting the Sharingan for something so minor. His cloth mask is on right now. The boy is forcing himself to get used to it so he tries to wear it day-in, day-out, but only ever manages during the first part of the day. His wolf is in his hand, dangling from its strings as Sasuke plays with them. He's used to the wait for Orochimaru's attention. The Sannin always asks him to be present at a ridiculously early hour only to make him wait until eight or nine in the morning. It's hours of time Sasuke could use perfecting his techniques, but complaining will get him nowhere, so he learns patience.

He looks at himself in one of the many mirors and puts on the wolfmask. Activating the Sharingan, Sasuke rises and steps closer to his image, locking eyes with himself. He looks like a demon. His posture is proud and arrogant as always, but the eyes flashing red through a perfect rendition of a wolf... now that's quite a sight. Sasuke wonders if he could somehow commit suicide through a miror and the Mangekyou. His eyes shift into the second level Sharingan before he can even complete the thought and Sasuke's looking at himself, his pupils a three-point shuriken.

It uses so much chakra to keep someone trapped, to force another being into believing the world he creates around them... Sasuke doesn't like the Tsukuyomi. He doesn't spend the time to build up a world like Itachi's. Sasuke uses the Mangekyou's power in a much less refined fashion, making someone believe they can't move or can't breathe is ruthless but effective. Itachi would never use it in such a raw way, Sasuke knows that. His brother is even more of a perfectionist than Sasuke is himself.

Activating the Mangekyou itself isn't as much of a strain as it used to be. Sasuke still wonders how he unlocked that ability within himself, both the manuscripts and Itachi were very explicit. You need to end the life of your best friend to activate the Mangekyou.

So why would it suddenly show up as a defense mechanism? It makes no sense whatsoever. Sasuke knows that acquiring the Mangekyou requires a great sacrifice that has to be willingly given, it has to be the life of the sharingan-user's best friend, offered through some fault of the user himself. The sharingan always takes more than it gives.

With a frown, Sasuke dismisses the red eyes. He wonders what happened, on a biological standpoint. He thinks on the fact that his body is naturally reluctant to use the newly acquired technique. He thinks on the fact that grief, murder and loss are the very basis of what awakens the Mangekyou, and of course Sasuke's been through that over Naruto. Each painful step of the way.

This isn't a gift. It's a curse. It's punishment for causing the death of your most loyal friend. Unable to stop himself, Sasuke's mind flashes to his arm fully buried through Naruto's body and how he should've died... Sasuke grieved him when he left. He gave a killing blow and he grieved over him. It can't be that simple, can it?

His eyes smart a little beneath the wolf and Sasuke removes it to rub at them, lightly massaging. His jaw is clenched, showing his left-over anger. The sight of Naruto impaled on his arm lingers on the back of his eyelids and Sasuke growls under his breath. The Mangekyou is a bloodright of his line, but Sasuke knows...

Every gift of the Uchiha is also a curse. Itachi is all the more cursed and that thought gives Sasuke enough anger and determination that he silently makes the vow to never use the Mangekyou again. He will not betray Naruto twice to curse himself some more. He will surpass Itachi in his own way. The second he opens his eyes after swearing to this, Sasuke feels like he finally gave the right reply to his father all those years ago. It feels like he's turning a page and reassuring his family that no, he won't follow Itachi's footsteps. He could, but he _won't._

Orochimaru silently steps into the room, watching his young apprentice and masking his presence perfectly. There have been several changes in Sasuke's attitude recently and the Sannin does not like them. It feels like the boy is slipping from his grasp and that won't do. Either the boy stays here willingly, either he'll be forced to cooperate. The result will be the same and so the manner in which it's accomplished matters little. The fact that the boy discarded the Sound uniform and cut off his long hair hints towards a rebellion, but so far there's been nothing truly different to his actions. Orochimaru was always perceptive, however. Ever since that bothersome snow-nin caused the scene months ago, Sasuke's been _seeing_. He's been aware and planning. Orochimaru can smell it.

Tsk...

The fifteen year old needs to get his spirit broken like it was at first, when he couldn't think clearly past Sound and Revenge and the short-term future. He needs to get broken back to the twelve year old boy who had his eyes sewed shut.

"Come, Sasuke."

The surprise doesn't show on Sasuke's face at the sudden appearance of his teacher but his fingers twitch on the strings of his mask and his back straightens a little more. He obediently follows the snake through the known pathways leading to the first training area. It's a reproduction of the forest around Konoha and Sasuke knows what Orochimaru plans with training his ninjas in that environment. But for the time being, it doesn't matter. It feels too much like home for Sasuke to bother taking apart the thought.

"Today's lesson is about control, Sasuke-kun. How much control you can command over yourself in the most trying situations. This will not be easy."

Sasuke knew that since he first heard the word 'control' come out of Orochimaru's mouth. He quietly nods and listens, nothing to betray his thoughts. He focuses on breathing. In, out, slowly. It feels like a trap. It feels like more danger than he's felt since he came out of the shower and to Ren's insanity. His instincts tell him to run and run _now_ but he can't do that.

Orochimaru stalks over to Sasuke, until they're so close the boy can smell the clean mix of death and fear that is the snake's breath. He doesn't move. Some part of his mind is giving into panic.

"You will be expected to remain still and relaxed." The last word's mocking edge has Sasuke's Sharingan come to life in and he can see Orochimaru's hand coming down with a syringe. It takes a split second and Sasuke's halfway across the room, into a tree and in a defensive position. He looks towards the doors, only to find them firmly bolted shut.

"Now, child, don't be unreasonable. You don't want to leave before we even start the lesson." Orochimaru is still where he stood, looking like an impatient mother who knows best. Sasuke has never been this scared of him, not even that first time he saw him in the Chunnin exam when he was sure his life would end.

He has to make a choice though. Can he really fight the Sannin, showing him all of his restored spirit, his open eyes and murderous intent? Can he be forced to let the snake know of his plans ahead of time? On Orochimaru's terms? The answer is no. There's still too much to do. About the curse seal, about the villagers of Sound, about Naruto and Konoha. Sasuke cannot afford to win this. It's months before the right time.

But can he really afford to lose?

His red eyes scan Orochimaru's frame, his relaxed stance and increasingly impatient look. He takes in the syringe and the kunai, the huge purple bow looking even more ridiculous on the snake's pale skin. Every instinct Sasuke has ever used screams at him that he can't give in, because the consequences will destroy him.

"Uchiha Sasuke, come down from there."

_What to do, Kakashi? What the hell do I do now?_

The whisper of strength that comes from Kakashi's answer all those months ago is enough for Sasuke to make his decision. He jumps down the branch and approaches the Sannin slowly.

_tbc..._

_Some replies:_

_Artemis: Sasuke is fighting himself all the way through. I'm writing a few chapters ahead and he is still quite stubborn about it. (pointed look at Sasuke). It's funny that you touched on the breaking part in your comment because this chapter explores just that. I like Sasuke's self-awareness in this bit. That's a great asset for him. (gives you Sasuke plushie) Heh! Enjoy!_


	11. Chapter 10

_A/N: This chapter is rated a very high M for descriptive violence. If you have a weak stomach, you are strongly advised to skim through the first two paragraphs. _

_Important: This follows an **eight months** **time skip** from the last chapter. _

_It is both the epilogue of this story and the prologue to the next installement. I mentioned last chapter that it would be the last chapter situated in Sound. There should be two stories following this one, **The Sound of Pain**__ and **The Sound of Fury.**_

**The Sound of Fear: Epilogue**

Kiba is on a reckon mission in Lightning Country when he finds it. The rest of his team stops when he does, all staring at the mass of flesh that used to be human. Arms and legs are twisted beyond recognition in a brokenly small and round shape, as if someone had tried to tie a knot with all of the limbs. Kiba can smell, beneath the blood, that it used to be female. "It's a woman." He says so uselessly because at the same time the mass moves, a last ditched effort at life, at trying to get help and it slowly rolls onto its back. Its limbs crack awkwardly with the momentum, suddenly resembling something more human but the legs are still bent the wrong way, toes touching the thighs through the front. The arms are limp by the sides, some of the bones are sliding obscenely out of the skin, like the knees that don't quite exist anymore. Kiba can clearly see the lips of a woman, the long red hair matted with blood, covering half of her face.

His Jounin captain has seen a lot of horrible things, but even he's looking a bit green around the gills. Kiba can't tear his eyes away from the twisted lips, still moving, begging for help. There's blood everywhere, over the legs, stomach, large gashes that show hints of whatever bone hasn't left her body beneath the mess of flesh. The chin of the woman looks like it was chewed and spit out, then awkwardly placed back where it used to go. Kiba swallows with difficulty as his eyes cover the space where breasts should have been. They've been cut off, leaving a flat, bleeding and twitching chest that is still somehow _breathing_.

The captain of the scout team takes out a kunai and throws it at the hole in the woman's chest. Kiba isn't surprised that it doesn't pierce much flesh before it imbeds itself in her heart, stopping her suffering instantly. Kiba stumbles a bit to the side and kneels over. He can't hold the contents of his stomach and he grabs onto a tree as he empties his stomach in disgust. It... she was still _alive_. Akamaru is nuzzling into his side, trying to offer what comfort he can.

His captain holds out a towel for him and with a shaky hand, Kiba takes it to clean up. He can't turn back and look at the remnants of the woman. Can't force himself to look back at what they did to her. He reaches down to pet Akamaru, a silent 'I'll be okay' before his captain calls out, "Inuzuka. Go scout the surroundings, try to see if you can trail whoever did this."

It's with a relieved nod that Kiba turns on his heel and jumps into the tree. It's not his first time seeing a body but this is worse than anything he's seen before...

He distractedly covers the area, trying to clear his head of the gruesome image of the woman's skinned chest, the legs spewing blood like an afterthought. _Oh, right, I should bleed. After all, everything below the knee is twisted beyond recognition, wouldn't look right without blood!_

Feeling twice as sick as the first time, Kiba stops, grasping the a branch firmly to keep from falling. Akamaru barks to get his attention and it's a good thing because it not only completely distracts Kiba from his nightmarish thoughts, it also brings his focus to the shape of a man lying on the ground, half hidden by bushes and shadows. Akamaru seems excited, immediately and without fear running to the form. Kiba frowns at that. Akamaru's usually more careful than that, especially after what they just witnessed.

The dog is sniffing at the shape, trying to make it move, react. Kiba takes out his sword and approaches more carefully, smelling the air, trying to identify the man. What his nose tells him has Kiba dropping the weapon and running to the man on the ground, discarding safety. _It can't be._ He turns the unconscious body in his arms, wincing as he catches sight of a nasty wound of the man's stomach, but what really has Kiba's jaw on the ground is the face, the eyes, the lips.

"Sasuke."

_The End: The Sound of Fear_

_**More notes, thanks and replies:** The Sound of Fear is deeply associated with Sound village and Orochimaru himself. The feeling I wanted to transmit throughout the entire story is that of Orochimaru and the influence he has on Sasuke. I do apologize for leaving so much in shadows and doubts at the end, however. There is, overall, eight months of Sasuke's life which are missing from the story and since they are directly relevant to the plot and mystery of the next story, I have decided to fully edit it out. _

_I would deeply appreciate any comment or constructive criticism the readers see fit to offer. Suggestions and guesses are just as welcome._

_The Sound of Pain promises to be much lighter, mostly due to the return of one Uzumaki Naruto as an active participant! Hee!_

_Quick replies: _

_XxHunter The One and OnlyxX: lol, no, not really. I just think every character you animate should have enough depth to be true. And those characters have extraordinary lives with extraordinary capacities. But they're still human, heh?_

_For everyone else who commented during the course of the story: My honest thank you and of course, a Sasuke plushie!_

_And a quick preview for **The Sound of Pain** (the return of our favorite blond-nin)_

_-----_

"But Sakura-chan! He's weird. It's normal for him to act weird! Besides if you're so worried you can go and ask him yourself!" The speech is punctuated with several attempts at escaping the pink Kunoichi's grasp, all successfully thwarted by said pink menace.

There's a light blush gracing Sakura's cheeks and she mumbles, "I don't want to seem impertinent... you stick your nose in everything, so it's okay for you to ask. It might be a... guy thing. You know..." Sakura's free hand waves about, trying to illustrate a point to the blinking Naruto.

"Oooh, I see. You have a crush on him." Naruto looks pleased with his conclusion and nods seriously to himself, "Alright, Sakura-chan, I'll find out whether he likes you back!" Naruto never saw the fist coming. He finds himself on the ground, nursing his hurting head, "What was that for?"

--

_Coming soon to a fanfiction page near you._

_Gokkayu_


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